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BeautyInTheBreakdown [Contact]
07/10/06

http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com/viewuser.php?showuid=95162


I love to write.

Yes, I have a passion for writing and I adore Harry Potter.

I have been writing a series of five stories - The Tear-Stained Memoirs - for nearly three years now and these stories are my like children.

Tear-Stained Series

1)Alone (The main story and most important... a must-read if you want to understand the rest of them properly) - POSTED AND COMPLETE
1.5) Someone Help Me - POSTED AND COMPLETE
2) The Pain of Passion - POSTED WIP
3) A Heart's Confession (A short two-chaptered story)
4) When I Go Down (The main sequel to Alone. You can probably read this without reading any of the other stories...)
5) In the Dark (May also be read without reading the rest)



EXTREMELY PROUD NOMINEE FOR THE QSQ AWARDS!
Four noninations for Alone as best Dark/Angsty
One nomination for Beauty from Pain for best romance-canon
Two nominations for Someone Help Me for best poem


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Stories by BeautyInTheBreakdown [5]
Favorite Authors [5]
Favorite Stories [15]
BeautyInTheBreakdown's Favorites [20]
Reviews by BeautyInTheBreakdown


MOMENTS OF BLISS by moonymaniac

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: Remus Lupin is a man with a tragic past, filled with pain, suffering and sorrow. But it is also a past filled with great adventure, true friendship and…love? Even though the odds were against him, Remus found happiness at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He had the Marauders, he was a prefect and his transformations were less horrible, thanks to his Animagi friends. What more could a teenage werewolf want? And how long could his happiness last? Remus and the Marauders prove that in the saddest of lives and darkest of times, there can still be moments of bliss.

Remus centric but with a lot of the other Marauders. This story is a romance, but has almost as much general Marauder era background and side story as romance.
Pre-HBP and DH, so some things from DH will be disregarded, as the warning indicates, but some Spoilers will be incorporated.
Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 07/09/09 Title: Chapter 5: Time Flies

This is my favorite chapter so far. I like how the time moves quickly, but you can almost see Remus and his friends growing up. It's very real. A quick way to show companionship, and at the same time give a background to a continually improving story. Great job!



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 07/13/09 Title: Chapter 6: Hard Work Pays

So I want to say, I like your characterization of the boys. Now they're older, their behaviors seem a bit more appropriate. I also like the way you write the boys. James and Sirius seem so entertaining and I wish I knew them, Remus seems quite yet amazing and I am jealous of the relationship with Lindi that I know he is going to have, and Peter is perfect in his slightly outward part of the friendship. He is just right, keeping a part of the group, but just slightly out of it because he almost lacks a bit of his own personality, you know? I feel like a lot of writers immediately write him off as a social outcast from day one, but that can't be the way it was or James would have never trusted him or called him best friend! My friend got so mad at me when I gave him a girlfriend in seventh year :P ANYWAYS, nice chapter. Sorry it took so long to review, work has been slamming me.



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 07/13/09 Title: Chapter 7: Delectable Dellington

Your descriptive writing style is brilliant. You're one of the first authors I have read that really gets it. People say over and over that description makes or breaks a story, but it takes ages for people to catch on. You have a way of putting the reader directly into the story so I can see exactly what is going on at all times. This is awesome. Can't wait to find out more about Miss Dellington.

Author's Response: OMG, BeautyInTheBreakdown. You have no idea what that means to me. I have worried about my descriptive writing since first posting the story. I feel it is my weakness, so thank you so very much. I can't thank you enough. <3



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 07/07/09 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: Notes on a Life

To start, this is pure genius. I love Remus to pieces and this is the perfect beginning to what I can tell will be an amazing story. I fear I'm going to start liking it more than I like my own! I'm so glad I decided to start reading it. I'll be more constructive in more reviews. Genius, I say!

Author's Response: >.< I started finally responding to reviews after absolute ages, and for some reason, only the ones from the most recent chapter came up in line. Now, I've responded out of order. Forgive me. Especially after all the lovely ones you've left. Thank you so much for taking the time, Gabby. I really appreciate it.



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 07/07/09 Title: Chapter 2: A Wish Come True

Short. Sweet. Breathtaking. I can feel Remus being happy. You worked this brilliantly.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Gabby. Sadly, not too many of my chapters can be described as short and sweet. LOL I love happy Remus, so thank you.



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 07/13/09 Title: Chapter 8: The Welcome Back Feast

Cute chapter. Again, I like reading about the boys. I feel like too many times the boys are left out to dry while the girls get the spotlight. they are lusty teenage boys, they can joke around with their friends once in a while :P but what am I telling you for? you already know that :P



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 07/13/09 Title: Chapter 9: The Bet

Oh Sirius, why even bother? You DO know that Lindi is going to end up with Remus, right? I really enjoyed this chapter a lot. It had a lot in it and seeing Sirius flirt is always fun. I always pictured Sirius as the straight to the point kind of guy. I had to giggle when Lindi blushed over the twisted smile. I know that look and I know the blush. It was written perfectly. Great chapter once again!

Author's Response: LOL As smart as Sirius is, you'd think he would have realized that. Oh, I know that look and blush too. Sooo much fun. :*) Thank you so much, BITB. I'm so glad you thought so.



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 07/13/09 Title: Chapter 10: Humiliation

I almost forgot to review! Oops! Anyway, I totally don't like Mr. Adamson. I know that's the point, but I feel like... why would Dumbledore keep him around? I mean, Dumbledore knows pretty much everything and he has to know what a jerkface Adamson is... He was just very inappropriate. It's very familiar to me, I had a teacher like this once. I was her Lindi. It was awful. Stupid Mr. Adamson. Good chapter though! :P

Author's Response: Adamson is a big jerk! I loved writing him and probably let him get a little over the top. He is a compilation of two people I had to deal with. Sadly, there are people out there like that. :( He did get reprimanded though. Thanks to some anonymous hero. :) I'm glad you liked the chapter even if it did bring up a bad memory. Thanks, BITB.



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 07/07/09 Title: Chapter 3: 1st Year: The Adventure Begins

“So, you got a name or can we jus’ call you Sunshine?”

HAHA. I laughed out loud. Clever and believable. I am oh-so happy I decided to read this story. I like the idea of random roommates, if that means anything to you :). I'll read more in the morning.

Author's Response: I'm so glad, too. And that does mean something to me. It just made sense that there wouldn't be a perfect 5 males and females for every class...*shrug* I'm glad you like it. Thanks for letting me know.



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 07/14/09 Title: Chapter 11: Tutors and Teasing

Silly Darlene :P Don't you know Remus is going to end up with Lindi? Okay sorry, I'm becoming redundant. Remus is adorable and I love him. Just saying. Sorry my reviews are becoming less and less productive. I've been working a lot this week and am reading the chapters in smallish chunks :/ Not fair. Great job either way!

Author's Response: :) Ha, Darlene is stubborn and obnoxious. lol And Remus is adorable and I love him too. No review is unproductive, you know. ;) I just appreciate the encouragement. Thank you, BITB.



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 07/15/09 Title: Chapter 12: Girl Talk

I love you for using the word altercation. It's one of my favorite words, and had just written it into my own story thinking, "No one actually uses this word..." and then, POW! you used it!

Oh, girltalk! How exciting. I'm a little disappointed at the boys' eavesdropping, but we have to find out how Lindi is feeling somehow, I guess. Good chapter, again.

Author's Response: lol I love that word too and that is so funny you had just used it. You really don't see it that often, but it is so much fun to say. And so discriptive. :) I find myself disappointed in them at times too, but never surprised. As Sirius said, they were all idiots! Well, not Moony so much....LOL He was just dragged along for the ride. ;) Thanks, BITB.



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 07/08/09 Title: Chapter 4: Making Friends

Okay, so I have a nitpicky critique for this chapter. Don't get too nervous, because it was still brilliant, as I am sure the rest of the story would be, but my only critique is that the boys seem to be too old for 11, if that makes any sense. I mean, one of the boys says famished at some point, and they all just seem a but mature, I think. Maybe it's just me. IT's not bad, because the chapter is still great, I just felt I should mention it. I'll read more tomorrow, for now it is bedtime!

Author's Response: Hmm...honestly, I'd have to reread the chapter, as it has been so long I can't even really comment. :*/ I probably give the boys more credit for vocabulary than they deserve, based on their being British, (Brits sound smart even the ones that aren't.. LOL) Also, I do think that Sirius and James at least would speak more formally based on their wealth/standing in society, etc... But point taken. Thanks, BintheB. I appreciate it.



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 07/16/09 Title: Chapter 13: Ravenclaw Versus Slytherin

Yet another good chapter. I love reading about quidditch, it's fun, and Lily is so fun when she is determined (as she should be!) Can't wait to find out why Lindi is staying at school.

Author's Response: Thank you, BITB. I did enjoy writing the Quidditch scene, but have discovered that I wouldn't want to have to do it too often. I really admire JKR for writing so many scenes and keeping it fresh. I'm glad Remus doesn't play, so I don't have to try to come up with many interesting games. :*) I do have one more to write, but I've had it plotted out since...when did I start posting MoB? About 4 years ago? *losing mind* :*/ So it shouldn't be too difficult. ;) Anyway, I'm glad you liked the chapter. Thank you for reviewing.



Ariel and The Triwizard Cup by Purplemage

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: Get inside Ariel Sachs' head as he tries to survive his last year at Hogwarts. The Triwizard Tournament is going to be hosted once again after twenty-three years and Ariel is going to find himself in the middle of it. He soon learns that in love and war anything goes and that things are not always what they appear. A story of jealousy, gossip, teenage hormones and first love. (Rated for later chapters)

QSQ Award for Best Male OC, Ariel Sachs

QSQ Nomination for best Same-Sex Pairing Fic

I can't thank enough my wonderful beta Lys. Without her this fic wouldn't be posible.
Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 11/24/06 Title: Chapter 13: Between Girls, Boys, and Boys

Hi! Sorry about the second review. I bet you got all excited when you saw there was a new one and then you saw it and was like, darn... just another one from Gabby...

I just felt the need to say that you should ignore my cousin for a few reasons... one, because I adore the names in the story. C'mon... they're awesome. Two, because this review was written while she was actinga tidbit crazy because we were talking to my friends online and she was having a blast because she could say anything she wanted simply because they were my friends and not hers. Third reason is that she's my cousin and no onme should take her seriously anyway!!!! I LOOOOOVVVVE the story and the names and everything about it. No worries Harald. My cousin is a bum. :D

By the way, my brother should have seen it coming since I was sharing the chair with him and I saw the e-mail, I squeed out loud... he just looked at me funny, so I told him to move, he didn't move quick enough... so I just gave him a hand... *smirk*

Author's Response: LOL don\'t worry, Gabby. I wasn\'t really upset about what your cousin said. It was just...weird. *huggles*



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 08/22/06 Title: Chapter 3: First Day of School

Well, I was planning on reading the whole story and then commenting on the last chapter, but this chapter had way too many things worth commenting on.

“Maybe she was flushed,” Ahahaha... love that line. Creative and simply funny. nothing complicated about it, yet it made me laugh.

“I love your shoes!” I cried.

“What?”

“I’M GAY!” YESSSSSS!!!! That's so good. You have a knack for writing in little bits that fit perfectly and they lighten the mood of the story. love it.

'She didn’t want to be known as the girl that turned her boyfriend gay. According to Nessa it was every girl’s worst fear.'

Ain't that the truth. It wasn't my fault... I swear... I hope...

The story is wonderful so far. I love it, but I'm sure that's no surprise.

Author's Response: I\'m happy you decided to comment on the chapter. I came up with the line about being when flushed when I read somewhere that sometimes, Moaning Myrtle was flushed Lol. All the girls that I went to school with always said that the worst thing that could happen to them was that their boyfriend turned out gay, so that\'s why I put that in. Thanks fort the reviews!



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 11/24/06 Title: Chapter 13: Between Girls, Boys, and Boys

Sorry sorry... I'm reviewing AGAIN... but I figured here would be the best place to tell you... *cough cough cough* http://www.freewebs.com/arielandthetriwizardcup/ *coughs some more* : D This shows how I truly have no life, doesn't it?

Author's Response: I can\'t help but have a huge grin on my face. You are AMAZING!!!



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 08/22/06 Title: Chapter 4: The Declaration

What was Ariel thinking??! Oh... personal experience... *shuts mouth* just saying... randomly confessing your undying love to someone is usually quite scary... for the person you confess to... I can sort of connect to this story... though I always seem to be the person on the outside. Turning a guy gay... *even though I swear it wasn't me* having someone randomly confess a love for you... way to write about my life... oh yes... AWESOME CHAPTER!

Author's Response: That\'s the thing, Ariel wasn\'t thinking! At least not straight! Lol (interesting choice of words) I\'m glad you always were the person on the outside because I\'m always the other person and it\'s very ugly. Maybe I\'m sying on you and adapting your life to my story?? hehehe



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 01/04/07 Title: Chapter 14: On a Night like this...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING!!!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!! You were so not kidding when you said it was good and long. I emphasize the word good. I was on the computer at 5:30 this morning. I saw that Ariel was updated, and I ran through my house to get at the printer. I was worried I wouldn't finish reading before I had to leave for school, so I printed first. Have I mentioned that it's AMAZING? I think I've mentioned that about a bagillion times each chapter (it's a rough estimate) Now, shall we start moving through the chapter and commenting on absolutely everything I feel the need to? Yesh, I think I should.

the morning of the Yule Ball I woke up with a huge pimple on my forehead. Haven't you heard?? Pimples are a new fashion statement. All the rage. Only the coolest of the cool get them. I have more to say, but I'll wait 'till later.

they all declined, even the ugly ones. Awwwww.... Johnny boy, I'll go with you!!! I just love John. He's awesome.

“Why the long face?” *pictures John standing in front of a fun house mirror with a long face* actually, I didn't picture that until the second time i read the story...

When John told Ariel that he was his mate, my very first though was soul mate and I was like, NOOOOOO!!!! Ariel is meant for Bahir! I though John was straight! but then I read the next line and it all made sense again.

*takes deep breath* I have... a nitpick!!! dun dun dun... “I’m not asking you out!” I clarified, losing my patience. it seems like Ariel loses his patience rather quickly, especially since Johnny boy is his friend. i think that it would sound better if he lost his patience when he 'spat' at John that time... you know the one... yah...

Oh, I'd like to offer Ariel some of my coverup *or pancake as my dad calls it *eyerolls** that coverup works better than long hair AND magic.

Awwwwwwww. Poor Ariel... Christian and Nessa is a sad thought for Ariel. I think he needs a hug. *hugs* Better? Not so much...

I was really looking forward to seeing him in dress robes. I was sure he would look very handsome. Oh! I agree 100%. Most definately. Bahir in dress robes it tres schmexy. *sexy with extra letters for effect*

Oh! another small mistake... fight back my gagging, reflexes Nessa the comma needs to be moved over one word to the right.

What could have happened in the last four hours that made it impossible for him to come?” I have a theory. It's a really good one... okay, are you ready? So he didn't really get injured during Quidditch. He's actually sitting up in his room with all the lights off and he's depressed to the max.He's realized that he can't live without Ariel, but he knows that Bahir is absolutely head over heels in love with Ariel too... and Christian is worried because he knows that if he had a WWF Smackdown with Bahir, he'd get his pretty butt kicked and he just simply couldn't bear to see Ariel and not be able to shag him right then. SO the only reason he was going with Nessa was to get to Ariel, but since he realized his inability to be with him, he stayed in his dorm all depressed-like. I now I'm right. No need to argue. :)

Good job, Nessa... you know Ivy was walking away scared... the comment on Ariel's pimple was just made out of fear.

Hahaha... I can totally picture Nessa and Ariel getting whooped by the Whomping Willow.

She looked like she didn’t know what to do with the red cape, to wear it or hide it. She was already wearing the cape. it says so.

Clemence is a bum. Puhleeze... too cold out for you?? Get a life. go get your own little miss perfect.

I felt the smile spreading across my face when Bahir came close. He was smiling too. It's love at sixty-bagillionth sight, I swear. My evidence? : Bahir turned around and said, “Please, don’t take long.” AWWWWWWWW Ariel/Bahir is LOVE!

I cursed the person who had come up with the spell to make rooms bigger. hahhahaha... perfect. I love it.

The irony of the whole situation didn’t escape me while I was in there - gay boy in the closet. This is another one. a perfect line.

hehehe... i think that Jaqueline is adorable with all of her stuff. though admittedly, I would be muy frustratedto be stuck picking out dresses for miss perfection.Though i can totally understand her perfume collection. There's loads of it in my room. LOADS.

*facepalm* break a stiletto???!?!?! Crimity. get a life, much??

Ariel!!! Dance with him, you fool!!!!! He's danced with a frickin' curtain for goodness sakes, I think it's safe to say you're not worse than a peice of cloth.

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF MY DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE!!!! Ariel/Bahir are kissing!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!! I squeaked out loud when I read it and my dog started barking at me like crazy.I told him to shut up because he was so ruining the moment. Bahir is so creative. So tecknically, You're majorly amazingly creative.but you already knew that. I can't believe that they're actually kissing!!! Now the only thing I have to worry about is the fact that it's too... perfect? I was talking to G and we decided that if Bahir ever hurts my Ariel, she and I are going to kick his little tree-burning ass all the way to wazoo and back.

Harald, though I saw that you don't like it when you're told you've out-done yourself, there's no other way to say it. When you write a chapter where my dream ship floats, then I'm going to be forced to say it. You've outdone yourself. You have the ability to make your characters so real. The fact that even Ariel Sachs can get a pimple is perfect. the fact that e can't fix it is even better... the fact that Bahir doesn't care is amazing.

I have been finding people in my school that are the characters from AatTC and I found the perfect Bahir today. I feel like walking up to him and asking if he's ever felt the need to snog the guy in my physics class that looks like Ariel. Oh, and I've been meaning to tell you... out of all the billions of banners that you have for AatTC, I like the first one the best... the one with Sean as Christian.

Speaking of Christian... you know how everyone is supposed to see him as a big jerk now *because he is*? Well... I don't I still love him. i just can't hate a guy who I picture Sean Faris each time I see his name. Could you??

I absolutely cannot wait until the next chapter is up. Until then, I guess I'll just have to read this one over and over again. I've practically memorized the last page that printed. That starts right where Bahir whips out the miseltoe. i see that page and I start smiling like mad, you know... all day long, people were asking me why I was smiling. I ignored them and read the page again and again. Brilliant, Harald. Can I say that enough? I don't think so. Fabulousness, Harald, that's what this story is.

~This has been another review by Gabby... even though it wasn't the 200th review.

YAY!!!!! ARIEL/BAHIR DREAMY MAN OF MYSTERY WHO LACKS A LAST NAME

Author's Response: OMG!!!! Can I just say that I love your reviews? Yes, I can. I love your reviews! I\'m sorry I made you run through your house at 5:30 am in look for a printer. lol I can image the siuation in my head. Are pimples the new fashion statement? Really? I had no idea. I better go and get one right now. I hadn\'t related the word \"mate\" with \"soulmate\". I hadn\'t realized they both use the same word. *ponders* That\'s a really interesting theory you got going for Christian there, but I won\'t make any comments. I don\'t want to accidentally spill the beans. I also have a collection of perfumes, they\'re not too many, but it\'s my little collection, that\'s where I took the idea for Jacqueline. I knew you were going to be happy with the kiss. :D You think it\'s too perfect? hmmmm, maybe. I won\'t say anything. Wuahahahaha. You like the first banner the best? I guess that\'s a special banner, but I like the one I have now better. Don\'t worry I will change it soon enough. Ariel banners never last too long. It was my master plan to make everyone think that Christian was a jerk. Obviously you didn\'t fall for it. Thanks so fraking much for the uber fantastic review!!!!



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 10/20/06 Title: Chapter 11: The First Task

Love the chapter, of course. That's hardly worth saying anymore because you should know by now. But simply because I know every author likes to hear it, I'm in love with this story. : D It's amazing and all that jazz like that. The only bad thing about it is that you take so long to update!!

I think I'm siding with Ariel on this one. I can totally see both sides. Nessa has a valid reason to be mad too. But if I went on a date, it wouldn't matter how busy my friends are, they're going to hear about it immediately. Not a week later.

OMG... the third person-ness... If I knew someone who constantly spoke in third person, I think I'd kill them...

Awww... poor Ariel... He's trying so hard to make up with Nessa... and he just fails miserably with the sign. At least he tried... It's just a silly letter...

AHAHAHAHA... squirrels! And Eggs?? HAHAHAHAHA... people... honestly... Of course they lay eggs!!! *kidding*

Awww... I have faith in Bahir... he's not lying about not knowing about the Troll thing... I hope... If he was just trying to throw her off... then Ariel/Bahir is so through in my book!!!

Hmmm... well that was my review. I jumped around a bit... hope it makes at east a little bit of sense. This story is amazing and you'd have to have mushed bananas for brains not to like it. That is ll for now. Oh ya, and UPDATE SOON!!! Tell Lys to hurry it up :D

*hugs*

~This has been a review by Gabby~

Author's Response: LOL, I like your reviews XD They\'re funny. And you\'re right an author likes when people say they love his/her story. So, you\'re siding with Ariel? He\'s very glad that you\'re doing so. hehehe, I think I\'d kill Mr. Wimund if he was real too. He\'s just too annoying. Well, of course squirrels lay eggs! That\'s the point of the joke! You jumped around, but I liked it anyways. I love the fact that you printed the chapter and took it to school. XD I\'ll try and update as fast as I can. Thanks for the fab review!!!



Reviewer: BeautyInTheBreakdown Signed
Date: 08/22/06 Title: Chapter 6: The Horrible Truth

Oh no! Poor Ariel! What a boob Chrstian was. Yes, 'don't judge him just yet' but c'mon! He told IVY about Ariel's confession! Why not just announce it over a loud speaker. *is becoming attached to Ariel* Is it wrong to feel sad for a written character?? I s'pose that's a mighty big compliment to you. If the character is real enough to have the readers feel bad for him...

Author's Response: Wow that\'s huge. It really means a lot to me when the readers say that they fell for Ariel, because that means they see him real enough to conect with them. Christian is a boob! hahaha, that;s the funniest thing I\'ve heard in a while. Thanks for the review!