Her eyes snapped open. She was faced with blaring white, so she quickly shut them again. She wanted to move, but she felt so exhausted…
She risked opening her eyes again, but slowly this time. She realised that she was looking up at a ceiling “ a long, thin crack in the plaster was running along it. She turned her head very slightly to the side.
Her dad had her hand in his, gently stroking it with his thumb, gazing at it with watery eyes. Her mother had her elbows on the hard bed that Lillian was lying on, and her head in her hands. Jamie was staring blankly at the wall opposite, no emotion visible in his face, but pain evident in his deep brown eyes. Sirius had his head on Jamie’s shoulder and, although his eyes were shut, tears seeped out from underneath his eyelashes, trickling down his freckled face.
Lillian frowned slightly. Why were they all crying? Where was she? The last thing she remembered…
She gave out a high whimper of fear and began to shake violently. Her family’s heads spun to look at her. They didn’t move, though “ they hardly dared believe it.
“Lily…” whispered her dad, deathly pale.
“Where am I? Where’s Voldemort? Mummy… Daddy… what-?” she broke down into a frantic fit of racking sobs, her eyes darting about in terror. Her family rushed forward and she was at once engulfed in warm embraces and kisses. Everyone was crying and shaking.
“You’re okay, you’re alright…” Harry was saying through kisses to the top of her head, more to himself than her. Her mother was stroking her wet cheek with one hand, and her dark locks with the other. Jamie had moved around to the other side of the bed and was sobbing into Lillian’s shoulder, and Sirius had actually clambered onto the bed to curl up next to her.
“We thought you were dead,” he wailed into her side, “that’s what the Healers said… they said you’d die… they told us to prepare for the worst…”
“What happened? Last thing I remember, I was… I was running at Voldemort and I pushed him and…” choked Lillian through sobs.
“He’s gone, Lils, it’s alright, we’re all here… it’s over… it’ll never happen ever again. You got rid of him,” Jamie wept. “Dad grabbed your foot “ the only part of you which went through they veil was your arms “ oh, Lily, they were all burnt and black…”
“It doesn’t matter,” said her mother, firmly, “you’re safe now, and that’s all that matters.”
“Did anyone… die? Is everyone safe?” The family was silent.
“Everyone’s okay, Lillian. Everyone’s fine,” said Harry softly. “You’d best get some sleep.” He reached over into the medicine cabinet on the wall next to the bed, despite the angry protest of a nearby Healer, and took out a bottle of Dreamless Sleep potion, which he poured into a goblet.
Lillian drained the goblet in one gulp, and sank back into the pillows, fatigue taking over. Harry gently took the goblet from her limp hands and placed it on the floor, never taking his eyes of her.
“Why didn’t you tell her about Granddad?” asked Sirius quietly.
“She doesn’t need to know yet. I think it just would’ve made her worse. We’ll wait until she’s calmer before we tell her he’s…” He stopped and placed his hand over his mouth and nose, taking a great shuddering breath. Ginny began to sob again. Now that she knew her daughter would be okay, she could grieve properly for her father.
***
Over the next few days, Lillian woke several more times, in much calmer moods. She was informed of her grandfather’s death “ about how he had been hit by an Avada Kedavra in the back when the Death Eater’s had first raided the Ministry. She had howled a heart-breaking cry of despair, having been very close to him and his workshop.
She had spent many happy summer days in that little shed at the bottom of the garden “watching with fascination as he took apart some Muggle device, added something new and put it together again, or sometimes just turning it on and off.
She blamed herself entirely for his and every other tragic death in the Ministry that fateful day “ a day which the media had named “The flame-filled night”. Jamie, Sirius, Danny, Nicolas, Rosa and Camilla had all assured her that it was not her fault “ it was theirs for not listening to her when she had tried to tell them Bella was evil, only to be told firmly by Harry that Bellatrix Lestrange held all responsibility for the massacre that night.
Bellatrix and the other Death Eaters had fled the scene, cowards that they were, when Voldemort was pushed through the veil. Although a few of the young, inexperienced ones had been tracked down and sent to Azkaban, many were still at large, and plagued the children’s dreams and waking moments. A great number of people roared their disapproval of this, insisting those captured should get a taste of their own medicine and be executed.
A register had been taken, and the death toll had reached one hundred and seventy-four, though fifty-six people were missing, their bodies having never been found. Among those, was someone called Colin Creevey. Lillian did not know who this was, but when his name was printed in the newspaper; both her parents had gone into a stunned silence before her mother had left the room shaking, and her father had slumped in his chair, breathing heavily.
Many people had escaped from the inferno of the Ministry, as the Death Eaters hadn’t been so organised and had left one of the doors unlocked “ the door that led on top of the Ministry. Hundreds of them had escaped that way, much to the confusion of the Muggles that had been doing late night shopping that night.
Ron and Hermione had been among them and, although they both had minor burns and Hermione had broken her arm in a fight with a Death Eater, both were perfectly fine.
Sirius had been checked over for any brain damage caused by the Cruciatus curse, despite his protests and annoyed arguments about how he was only under for a couple of seconds. He was fine, although he was given a potion to help relax his muscles, which he often loudly complained were aching badly. He refused to drink it, retaining his stubbornness, and making Harry ruffle his hair proudly saying he was just like his father, before forcing him to drink it for his own good.
Harry, a few days after Lillian had woken up, had collapsed, causing a great deal of panic amongst the family. It was concluded by his Healer that he had been under too much stress. Harry had rolled his eyes and muttered “Really?” sarcastically, which made the children laugh and Ginny mock-scold him.
“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, except when I do it, and then it’s highest.” The Healer had ignored the entire family and prescribed Harry a new potion, lecturing him on how, even though it was years ago, the effect of the Cruciatus curse was still evident in him, and he shouldn’t “overexert” himself ever again “ as if it was all his fault that he had been forced to duel Voldemort.
Harry had merely replied, in a pretend hurt voice, “I never overexert myself. I lead such a peaceful, calm life.” Everyone had laughed again, apart from the Healer, who had glared at him with such ferocity that Lillian was surprised not to see daggers come out of her cold grey eyes.
Harry swore that she had given him the most disgusting potion possible on purpose because of this.
Lillian was slightly disturbed by the way her parents and other family members who visited could laugh and joke so easily. She felt like crying, screaming, and throwing things across the room, but was always too sleepy to do such a thing. She didn’t know what to do with herself.
She wanted to comfort herself by eating all her favourite sweets; “ she dreamed of mountains of chocolate and fudge, with ice cream for snow, and Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans dotted about like little people skiing, with pink candy-floss clouds and marzipan for fir trees. However, whenever it came to eating, she couldn’t swallow properly. She wanted to throw up. She hated herself for sitting here and eating the bar of Honeydukes Best Chocolate her Uncle Fred had got her, while people outside of the white walls of St Mungo’s grieved over deaths that she had caused.
Guilt ate away at her constantly. She got desperately bored sitting in her bed in the plain, private ward, but couldn’t stand walking around the hospital, because she’d always see someone burnt, or bearing a new scar, or at the front desk in tears from the trauma.
She was always very tired, and wanted nothing more than to sleep, but whenever she did, she was woken by terrible nightmares, filled with burning bodies and screams. So, she began to dread going to sleep and, therefore, got very little of it, creating a vicious cycle.
She had confided all of this to her father, who had sighed and said it was all perfectly natural, and that, in time, she would get better, and learn that life goes on.
It didn’t feel natural to Lillian. No one else broke down in tears every five minutes. Harry had smiled and replied.
“They do, honey. Between you and me, I was bawling like a baby just a couple of minutes ago when I was “having a shower”. However, we adults just don’t cry in front of you kids “ we have to remain strong for you. Would you prefer it if we were doing what we felt like and moping about all over the place?” Lillian had shaken her head, though, in all honesty, she didn’t know whether she would or would not prefer that. Harry continued, “We laugh and make jokes because, over the years, we’ve learnt that that is the best way for us to deal with our grief. It may not be the best way for you “ everyone grieves in different ways. And believe me; losing a loved one does not get any easier no matter how many times you’ve seen death.
“We all miss Granddad a lot “ your mum especially. But we know that we’ll always remember him, and that he hasn’t truly left us “ he’s still in here.” He tapped Lillian’s chest where her heart was and walked away, leaving her to sort through her thoughts. She sighed, lay down on her bed, and cried herself to sleep.
The Third War by dumbledorefluertwins
Chapter Notes: One more chapter to go! It's currently being beta-ed, so there's no point in asking me to "update soon" as both me and my beta are already working flat out on it to make it as perfect as possible. :)
Please R&R! More e-cookies are on offer for fantastic reviews! :)
~Evie