Ch. 12 Home is Where My Mum is
I gracelessly crashed into the hearth on top of my trunk. Tears stung in my eyes as I managed to get out of the way so Brian and Siri could get through.
“Bloody trunk!” I said, rubbing my knee.
“Lillian!”
“Hey, Mum, how are you?” I asked, ignoring the stern look she was giving me.
“LILY!” Cedric cried, running forward and hugging me.
“Holy Merlin, Ced! Look how much you’ve grown!” Bry said, joining us in the center of the room.
Mum hugged Bry while still glaring at me. I pecked a kiss on her cheek and dragged my trunk upstairs to my room and collapsed on my bed. I closed my eyes, breathing in the familiar scent of home. I ran my fingers over my beloved quilt and finally felt content, for the first time in months.
“Ask, Lillian. Ask Him and He will tell you.”
“Who?” I whispered. I didn’t see her but I knew her voice so well now. “Please tell me who,” I whispered again.
“What did you say?” Mum asked.
I sat up to see Mum and Professor Potter standing in my doorway. I felt doom settle into my stomach. I had hoped they would at least wait until after dinner to confront me. They both wore neutral expressions, although I detected a bit of curiosity in Professor Potter’s face for a moment. Mum and the professor remained in the doorway, perhaps because I wasn’t exactly welcoming them into my room. I decided to ignore my mother’s question to avoid the conversation as much as possible.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
Mum shook her head and shut the door. They both walked over and after a lengthy silent debate, sat on either side of my bed. I leaned back and gazed at the ceiling trying not to notice the fact that I had just been trapped. I had no intention of making the conversation easier and acknowledging its existence qualified as ‘making it easier’.
“We need to talk,” Mum said, forcing me to look at her.
“Oh really? What about?” I asked.
“Please stop acting like this, Lily,” Professor Potter whispered.
I kept my gaze on my mum and shrugged my shoulders. “I can’t,” I simply stated.
“Why can’t you, honey?” Mum asked.
I snorted at her ridiculous question. She really wanted to know, fine, she can know. “Well, there’s the fact that I’ve been lied to my entire life that I find a bit disturbing. Did you know we’re studying Voldemort in History of Magic?” I asked, toying with a thread on my quilt.
Mum glanced at the professor, causing him to pollute my room with his words. “No, Headmaster Snape kept it hidden from me until term was nearly over,” he whispered.
“Well then, you can guess what a nice shock that has been for all of us. Imagine living your entire life believing one thing and then learning everything you were told was wrong in front of a group of strangers. Not to mention I keep having creepy dreams that I have no control over and then my own father treats me like a common enemy by threatening me! The last few months have been fabulous,” I said, sarcastically. My insides felt on fire and the desire to start crying was almost overwhelming. Well, I wasn’t about to give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry! Instead I managed to produce what I’m sure was quite the glare and stick my chin out a bit more.
“Mum! I’m starving!” Siri yelled from downstairs. I inwardly thanked his hunger for its timing.
“Harry, go tell the boys I’ll be down shortly, I want to talk for a few more minutes,” Mum said.
Professor Potter got up and walked out of the room. Mum moved further onto my bed so she was now directly in front of me. She stared at the doorway Potter had just walked through for a moment before turning to face me.
“Lily, I’m so very sorry,” she said, tears welling up in her eyes.
I was completely surprised by her new tone and sudden display of emotion. She wore an expression of sorrow that made my heart wrench in my chest. I felt tears falling from my own eyes and Mum grabbed my hand.
“What are you sorry for?” I choked out.
“More than I can say,” she said, embracing me.
I suddenly found myself letting everything out through my sobs. My anger, confusion, fear and feelings of betrayal all flowed out of me with each tear I shed. I began to feel better as Mum held me close and stroked my long black hair in comfort. My sobs eventually subsided and I gradually just let myself believe the whispered words of comfort Mum was supplying.
“Come on, honey. I’ve got to feed your brothers before they eat your father,” Mum said with a small smile.
I nodded and followed her downstairs.
“You should invite your friend Mack over tomorrow so she can come shopping with us,” Mum suggested as we entered the kitchen.
I was about to tell her what a great idea that was when we both stopped dead in our tracks. The kitchen was an absolute mess! Professor Potter was putting out a fire in the pan on the stove, Bry and Ced were picking up broken pieces of something off the floor and Siri was covered head to toe in what looked like flour.
“What in the name of Merlin is going on?” Mum yelled, her hands on her hips and glaring at her husband.
“Oh, Mum, thank Merlin you’re here! Make him stop, please!” Siri begged, flour flying from his red hair as he ran to us.
“All four of you get out of my kitchen!” Mum yelled.
Siri, Bry and Ced bolted out the door but Potter stayed where he was. “Gin, let me help you clean up. I was just trying to help,” he said, kissing Mum’s forehead.
“I told you I would be down shortly! Look at this mess. Lily, start cleaning up that flour, please,” Mum said, glaring at Potter again.
“Gin, calm down, we’ll go into town for dinner so you don’t have to cook, okay?”
“I’m not leaving the kitchen like this. You can clean up the broken plates and then we’ll talk!” Mum said, pointing her wand at the stove. “Scourgify!”
“Reparo!” Potter said, pointing at the broken dinnerware.
“That’s our wedding china! You let the boys use our wedding china? Harry James Potter!” Mum yelled.
The guilty pleading look that came across Potter’s face was so amusing, I couldn’t help but laugh. My parents stood still for a moment but then they started laughing too.
“Come on, let’s go get some dinner,” he said, kissing Mum’s forehead and grabbing my hand.
I instantly stopped smiling and pulled away. “I’m not hungry and I need to owl Mack,” I said, walking back toward my room.
“Why don’t you take the boys, Harry. I’ll stay here with her,” Mum said, following me.
“Why are you staying with me?” I asked as we entered my room.
“Because I think you need your Mum and I want to be here when you decide you do too,” she said, sitting on the edge of my bed and watching me expectantly.
“Now you’re ready to talk to me? I’ve been around for eleven years, Mum. You could have talked to me before,” I said, anger evident in my tone.
“Lily, come sit down,” she said, patting a spot on the bed next to her.
“I’ll stand,” I snapped back.
“Suit yourself,” she said, shrugging. She flicked her wand and conjured an hourglass on the nightstand. “You have until the sand runs out. The time will start when you ask your first question,” she said.
My jaw dropped in shock. Was she saying that I could ask her about anything? Was she going to finally be honest with me and tell me about all the things I’ve been discovering at school? Was this some type of joke? Well, if she’s going to give me the opportunity, I’m not going to pass it up!
“Why did you and Dad hide the truth from us? Why go through all the trouble? We have such limited access to the same things that anyone else can read about anytime. Did you honestly think that we wouldn’t eventually take things into our own hands after hearing bits and pieces in class?” I asked.
Mum sighed and ran a hand through her beautiful red locks in frustration. “Honestly, it all seems so pointless now, Lily. Your father and I wanted you and your brother to grow up as normal as possible. We wanted you to know and realize that your lives are in your own hands, no one else can tell you how to live and what to strive to be. You’ll understand more when you have children of your own, dear. And you should really take a step back and analyze your surroundings to answer your other questions. The only witches and wizards you kids interact with are Order members, so they knew what your father and I had determined appropriate to tell you. With their help we were able to use numerous forms of distractions and enchantments when something sensitive came up, whether it was in conversation or when being seen in public. We wanted certain details kept from you; I admit that we purposely didn’t tell you some things that many other people know. This wasn’t done out of malice honey, just stupidity,” Mum said with a half smile.
“What details are you talking about?”
“One of the larger ones was regarding the Prophecy. When your father was in his Fifth year, he learned about a Prophecy concerning him and Voldemort,” Mum said, tears welling up in her eyes again.
“Mum, we already learned about it,” I said, walking over and holding her hand in comfort.
“I know, but you don’t know what the Prophecy said. Lily, what I’m about to tell you caused your father’s life to change drastically. The Prophecy stated that only he could defeat Voldemort indefinitely. Only him. Do you realize the effect that had on your father?”
I really didn’t. I’m not stupid but I just didn’t get it. Didn’t they want to defeat Voldemort anyway? I mean, he killed my grandparents! He started a stupid war that took countless friends and family members from us. Why wouldn’t Dad want to kill him?
Mum smiled sadly at the confusion evident in my face. “That’s one big reason we didn’t say anything, Lily. You’ll tire of hearing this but you were too young, you still are. You can’t understand the heavy implications something like that comes with. Your father knew, he knew that either he would kill Voldemort or die. His future felt entirely out of his hands. It’s highly complicated and serious, dear.
“Not to mention your father survived the Killing Curse when he was just a baby. Voldemort disappeared after that night, our world thought him to be dead. Your father was famous for something he couldn’t even remember. His life has been quite difficult since he returned to the wizarding world. We just wanted to spare you. It’s a burden really, a frightening burden that we can never escape,” she said, softly.
Returned to the wizarding world? When did he ever leave? I filed that question away for later. “Why are you telling me now?” I asked, laying my head in her lap.
Mum immediately began stroking my hair. “I’m not sure entirely. I think it has a lot to do with your recent dreams or visions. I feel that a little information about some things won’t change you too much and it might even end up helping you. There is not enough time in any day to tell you the whole story, Lily. If you think about it, the entire tale spans over a decade,” she whispered.
I noticed the timer was almost up and there was still so much more I wanted…no, I needed to know. Perhaps I would be given this opportunity again? Because I wanted to be a bit selfish now, there was something about myself that I needed to know. “Mum, why am I dreaming these things?”
Her breath hitched for a moment. “I don’t know, honey. It does unsettle me though. This is something that your father and I are trying to solve. We want to be able to tell you why this is happening to you and maybe even stop it,” she said.
I suddenly felt sleepy and a yawn escaped my lips. “It frightens me, Mum,” I whispered, my eyes no longer able to remain open.
“It frightens me too,” she whispered right before I fell asleep.
To Find the Truth by hopelesslyhopeful
Chapter Notes: Hey all! I'm sorry it took so long to update, but I'm busy getting ready to move and start my NEW job! I haven't forgotten this story or anything. I hope you like it!