Ch. 16: Do It For Dad
The next morning we all Flooed back to Hogwarts and separated to our Common Rooms. I tried to be socially involved in the many conversations but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I retreated to the dorm and collapsed into my bed. I felt out of place and everything that had become so familiar at Hogwarts suddenly seemed unrecognizable. I was waiting for Saiph or Bellatrix to burst through the door or pop out of a portrait.
It bothered me that Dad hadn’t traveled back with us. In fact, none of us saw him prior to leaving the Burrow. Mum explained that he was dealing with Order business and I knew she was being honest because she was anxious and easily irritated, but it still made me uneasy. I rolled over onto my stomach and groaned into my pillow. I hated feeling lost, guilty and angry all at once.
“Lily? What are you doing up here?” Trish asked, walking over to me.
“I’m not doing anything,” I told her.
“Are you all right?”
“Yes,” I simply replied.
“Look, I don’t even want to pretend to know what’s going on in your head, Lily, but you could at least appreciate the fact that I care enough to ask,” Trish stated. I didn’t say anything but I rolled over so my back was facing her, hoping that she’d take the hint and leave me alone.
“You should be careful how far away you push people, Lily,” she warned.
I sat up quickly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It just means that if you insist on keeping all kinds of stuff to yourself, eventually no one will listen when you’re ready to open up,” she said, shrugging.
“I’m sorry, Trish but you don’t exactly pour your soul out to me,” I pointed out.
“Fair enough, Lily. But also remember that I’m not the one waking up tangled in my bedsheets, shaking all over because of some type of horrible nightmare,” she said, walking out the door.
I threw my pillow across the room and it landed where Trish had just been standing. I resented her for assuming she could understand anything I was going through and that it was even any of her business. Mostly though, I resented her because I was worried she was right.
**
Mack woke me up the next morning and the two of us joined Sarah at the table for breakfast. I was dreading classes, specifically class with my dad. He hadn’t spoken to me and no one had seen him since we got back to Hogwarts.
“I don’t see him,” I said, scanning the Head Table for my dad. His messy black hair and green eyes were missing amongst the staff.
“Maybe he already ate,” Mack suggested.
“Or he’s not eating at all,” Sarah added.
I shrugged and pushed my eggs around my plate as Sarah and Mack discussed possible new subject topics for lessons. Trish’s words were still running through my mind and I kept thinking about what Gran had said about my dad keeping everything bottled up. It bothered me that I was doing something similar, despite the fact that I know it’s not the best thing to do. Then again, how selfish would it be for me to dump everything on my friends? How would exposing others to the terror of my dreams make me feel better? Wouldn’t it actually make me feel worse?
“Lily? Lily did you even hear me?” Sarah asked.
“Huh?” I asked, focusing on her.
“I asked if you knew what Abby is doing here,” she repeated.
“What?”
She pointed up to the Head Table and sure enough Abby was sitting next to Snape and they appeared to be in deep conversation.
“When was the last time either of you saw Professor Potter?” Mack whispered.
“Yesterday morning when we left, I think,” Sarah answered.
“You saw him before we left? I didn’t! I haven’t seen him since he stormed out during dinner,” I grumbled.
“Same for me,” Mack agreed.
Sarah looked deep in thought and suddenly her eyes lit up. “I did see him! I ran back upstairs for my Potions book and I saw him when I walked by your parents bedroom,” she recalled.
I felt my heart speed up. “What was he doing?”
“Um, nothing really. He was sitting on the bed and holding something that looked silvery. I didn’t get a good look though since I was in such a hurry,” she told us.
I licked my lips. “Could it have been some type of clothing? Maybe a robe?” I suggested.
Sarah shrugged. “Maybe, it didn’t look like a bag or anything,”
My heart sank but I kept my face set in a look of confusion. I knew Dad had taken out his Invisibility Cloak and that only meant one thing: he was going away.
“I’ll meet you in Charms,” I said, standing up.
“Umm, okay?” Mack replied, watching me.
I exited the Hall quickly and headed for the Common Room. I kept my eyes peeled for red hair, either would suffice but I was hoping for…
“SIRI!” I yelled as I caught a glimpse of him rounding a corner.
“Lils, are you okay?” he asked, rushing over to me.
“Sarah saw him with the cloak ,” I said, pointedly.
“Who?” Natalie interrupted, coming up behind Siri.
“I don’t remember asking you to join us,” I snapped.
She glared at me and Siri looked shocked. “I’ll catch up with you later, Nat,” he mumbled, pulling me away.
“Whatever,” she grumbled.
Siri let go of me after we turned down an empty corridor. I was about to continue our conversation when he pierced me with a cold glare. “What the hell was that about?” he scolded, pointing in the direction we had just come from.
“This is none of your little girlfriend’s business,” I spat.
“Natalie is not my girlfriend! She’s just a friend who happens to be a girl. And she knows all about what’s going on because I told her. There was no reason to snap at her!” he defended.
I dropped my jaw in shock. “You told her everything? Are you mad? What if she tells other people? How could you be so careless?” I cried.
“I trust her, Lily! I’ve known her for three years and she’s a good person. Besides, Dad went to school with her parents,” he said, shrugging.
“And that’s enough justification for you to tell her everything we uncover? For Merlin’s sake, Siri loads of people went to school with both Mum and Dad! That doesn’t automatically make them trustworthy supporters of our side!” I argued.
He suddenly grabbed my shoulders and shook me. “Will you listen to yourself? You have to stop acting like we’re on some secret Order mission. We are at school, Lily. You need to expand your social circle farther than our family. And you have to let yourself trust other people! Nat has never been anything but kind to you and you were just rude for no reason. I’m embarrassed now, so thanks for the awkward conversations this incident will lead to,” he lectured as the bell rang.
“I have to get to class,” I said, coldly.
“I’ll talk to you after dinner then,” he said, trying to pull me in for a hug.
I pushed him away. “Don’t bother, Siri. I don’t want to take you away from your evermore important social circle,” I snapped.
It wasn’t until I slumped into my seat next to Sarah that I realized Siri probably hadn’t even caught what I had said about Dad.
**
“Do you feel like everyone seemed a bit distracted?” Mack asked as we left Potions.
“I know what you mean,” Sarah agreed.
I turned away and headed toward the Fat Lady.
“Lily?”
“I’ll see you guys later, I’m not feeling well,” I lied.
“Do you want me to fetch Madam Pomfrey?” Mack offered.
“No, I’ll be fine,” I said, leaving them at the staircase.
I went straight to the dorm and climbed into bed. I needed to think and the solitude suited me nicely for that purpose. Dad had his Invisibility Cloak and Abby was here which meant he must be out on a mission of some sort. Between the mysterious whereabouts of Draco, Bellatrix and Saiph I couldn’t figure out whom he was seeking. All three were huge possibilities due to Dad’s loyalty, his desire for revenge and his determination to stop the spreading of the Dark Side.
I sighed. The only idea that seemed to produce any type of actual result would be to let myself fall asleep and hope to see him or something that would give me a clue as to his location. The problem was I didn’t want to do that at all, for obvious reasons. First of all, the idea of voluntarily entering that world bothered me and secondly, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to control anything once there.
My hands began to shake and I felt fear creeping into every point of my body. I closed my eyes and tried to slow my breathing. Do it, Lily, I told myself. Do it for Dad. With the image of Dad’s smiling, happy face I allowed myself to fall into a deep sleep and enter a world that terrified me to no end.
**
I found myself in an unknown room which appeared to have been searched recently. Parchment littered the floor so heavily I had to kick it aside to walk around. A green leather couch was tipped over, exposing its legs and a small table rested on its side with bits of glass on the floor surrounding it. There was no light source but the room seemed to be producing a soft blue hue that allowed me to see where I was going.
“Hello?” I whispered, my voice cracking slightly.
I heard nothing but silence as I approached the center of the mystery room. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t alone and I needed to discover whoever else was in here with me before I would be able to calm down slightly.
“Dad? Dad, are you here?” I asked.
The silence was suddenly disrupted by a moan. The sound sent a chill down my spine. It was a low, mournful tone and the only thing I could associate with the horrible sound was agony, pure and relentless agony.
Tears immediately welled up in my eyes. “Daddy? Where are you?” I cried.
The room suddenly shifted and I was at the beginning of the longest hallway I had ever seen. There were no torches lining the wall to light my way so I just remained still and gazed into the darkness, too frightened to move.
My heart was pounding so loudly my ears were ringing and for some reason I was panting, I felt as if I had just sprinted to the Burrow and back. I took a step forward and suddenly I was falling. I was rocketing downwards into complete darkness with nothing to grab onto at a speed so fast tears were burning my eyelids. I knew nothing would stop me until I crashed back to Earth and at that point I could do nothing but cry out for my dad and pray that someone heard me.
To Find the Truth by hopelesslyhopeful
Chapter Notes: Here it is! If anyone would like to beta the rest of this story for me...I'd give you loads of pretend cookies. Yummy! Otherwise, I hope you all enjoy and you know to review because it makes me smile and I like to smile. :)