Ch. 18 The Burden of Being a Potter
“I do hope you plan on paying more attention to this than you do most of your lessons, Miss Potter,” Snape said.
“Seeing as this seems to be a bit more important, I will try to give my undivided attention,” I replied through gritted teeth.
“Lily, it’s going to be all right,” Mum whispered as she grabbed my hand.
In the tense atmosphere suffocating the Headmaster’s Office her words brought me no comfort and her gesture did little more than cause me to resent her. Nothing was going to be all right! My Mum is one of the most intelligent people I know and here she sat trying to convince me that everything was going to be all right even when she and I both knew everything was not going to be all right.
I just knew there was much more to this…talent, as Dumbledore put it. The fact that said talent is so rare only made me feel more stranded and different than everyone else. Here was yet another thing that separates me from being normal…well, as normal as the offspring of war heroes could be. Now I feel so far away from everyone else and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to feel close to any of them anymore.
“The Prophecy concerning your dear father is quite famous and well known now, but there was a time when only a select few were aware of its existence. A prophecy can be a rather difficult thing to understand for some people, due to the fact that it is often not immediately known who is being referred to. In your case, there is a prophecy that doesn’t necessarily refer to you directly, but instead refers to the ability you happen to possess,” Snape explained in a monotone.
Mum’s grip tightened for a moment, causing me to glance at her and raise an eyebrow. She smiled apologetically and gave my hand a soft squeeze. She looked so tense, her brows were lowered and drawn together toward her nose and her eyes were slightly narrowed as she gazed at Snape. Mum’s attitude made me wonder if Snape and Dumbledore had explained things to her, at least a little before talking to me.
“Okay, can you tell me what my prophecy is then?” I asked, trying to keep my voice even.
Snape pierced me with another glare which caused me to shudder involuntarily. “First of all, Miss Potter, this prophecy isn’t yours. As I’ve already explained and what you obviously weren’t listening to was that the prophecy I am talking about pertains to your gift, not to you. This prophecy could relate to anyone with the same gift you possess. Furthermore, I cannot tell you a detailed version of this ancient prophecy. You see, since nothing concerns you directly, the prophecy itself must be vague if it is to apply to different people. All that is known is that a Transcender’s purpose is to prevent one incident and end another. These are not menial things, Miss Potter, they are events that affect society as a whole. So helping your oldest brother find a suitable girlfriend does not qualify as benefiting society. Do you understand?”
I didn’t understand any part of it at all, except the bit about Sirius, but I wasn’t about to let Snape know that. His smirking face staring straight at me prevented any questions from forming on my lips and I wasn’t about to admit my obliviousness to him. I decided that nodding solemnly would be my best reaction option so that’s what I did. I noticed Dumbledore was watching me intently and I knew that he was completely aware of why I was acting this way.
“Lily, what you need to do fulfill your purpose as a Transcender is going to be quite difficult. You must prevent something awful and negative to the world from ever happening and you must end something that is inflicting pain and unhappiness upon our society also. This will not be easy, dear. You must first figure out what you need to prevent and end before you can actually take any action,” Dumbledore explained. “From now on, you need to tell someone about anything that happens in the form of a vision, regardless of how unimportant it may seem. Notify your mother, Abigail, Severus or myself immediately, is that understood?”
My throat had sealed shut so I just nodded again. I suddenly felt heavy, as if a new weight was suddenly upon me and in reality there was a new weight there. No words could describe the fear coursing through me, no amount of calming deep breaths could stop my heart from racing within my chest. No amount of comforting words or gestures could ease my out of control emotions from reeking havoc on my brain. To me, it sounded as if I was going to have to prevent and end something like a war and wars aren’t really frequent in our world, which is a good thing. Sure there is still evil around us all, but that doesn’t mean we’ll all be at war tomorrow.
“Be aware that this prophecy may take years to be carried out also. Possibly an entire lifetime if you miss one opportunity,” Snape pointed out.
“Severus! How dare you! We need to be helping her right now, not putting more pressure on her. How can you expect her to come to you with information if you constantly belittle her importance and her intelligence?” Mum asked, her voice raising to that level close to scolding.
“I am merely pointing out that she cannot afford to miss any opportunities, Ginny. Don’t be angry with me, this is not my fault. I am merely relaying the message,” he said, waving his hand across his desk to the tome still lying open in front of him.
“And enjoying every second aren’t you? You need to see that she is not Harry, Severus. She is frightened and probably confused to the point where she doesn’t even know where she fits in anymore. You making her even more afraid only makes the situation worse!” Mum replied.
“I’m right here you guys!” I said, annoyed that they were speaking about me as if I were not present.
“I think we all need to calm down. Ginny, she will be safe here as you and Harry were in your years here. Lily knows how to contact me if she needs me and I know that there happens to be a pot of Floo powder hidden on the mantle of the Gryffindor fireplace, but I happen to have no idea how it found its way there. And with Abigail replacing Harry for the time being, Lily has another person to turn to if the need arises. Now, Lily I suggest you go tickle the pear on the portrait of the bowl of fruit. This will take you to the kitchens, you know. I would ask the house-elf by the name of Kreacher to make you a nice cup of hot chocolate,” Dumbledore instructed as my mum sucked in her breath and shook her head.
“Really, Professor, I don’t think that is necessary. I am more than capable of making a cup of hot chocolate for my daughter,” Mum said, clutching at my hand to prevent me from standing up.
“Of course you are, Ginny, but Severus and I need to discuss some private items with you. You see, I was using the lure of hot chocolate to intrigue Lily to leave without actually telling her she cannot partake in our conversation,”
“It’s fine, Mum. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I said, kissing her forehead and standing up. I nodded slightly at Snape and flashed a sad but grateful smile at Dumbledore before heading to the door.
I could still feel Dumbledore’s blue eyes watching me as I left the office. It really began to bother me that a man I hardly know can see through me with such little effort. I was willing to bet he knew I wouldn’t go for hot chocolate tonight, but I think he knew that I caught on about talking to that house-elf. The problem is, I think Mum caught on too.
**
With classes becoming increasingly difficult and me having constant dreams about nothing every other night, my anxiety level has increased to a level much too high for an eleven year old. I was having trouble concentrating on my lessons, I found myself jumping at the slightest noise and my lack of sleep was causing me to drift off at random points during the day.
“Lily, why don’t you go to bed?” Mack suggested, grabbing my hand.
“Huh?” I asked, shaking my head and opening my eyes to observe my surroundings.
We were in the Common Room and from the open book sitting on my lap I gathered we were studying for our upcoming Charms exam. I vaguely remembered Mack suggesting we study on our way back to the common room after dinner. I looked out the window and was surprised to see a dark sky blanketing the grounds in blackness. For some reason I remembered when I had been falling blindly through the darkness of something I didn’t know and from simply seeing the same atmosphere outside, I suddenly felt cold. I shivered slightly, although no one noticed, and felt something looming in the back of my mind.
“I think we should go to bed,” Sarah agreed as her and Mack coaxed me out of my seat and led me toward the stairs to the dorm.
“No, I can’t sleep yet,” I cried out suddenly, yanking my hand away from Sarah.
The Common Room noise dropped considerably and people were casting side-long looks towards me, but I didn’t care. They could think that I was the ‘loony Potter girl’ all they wanted, I was more bothered by the feeling that if I fell asleep I was going to have to see something…and I was so tired of that! Besides, Quidditch is tomorrow and I want to be able to enjoy the game with my housemates. If I went to bed now I knew I would see something and whatever I saw I wouldn’t be able to forget anytime soon. Most of my visions haunt me endlessly, they replay in my mind during the day causing my focus to be distracted from whatever was going on in my actual life.
“Do you want a sleeping potion, Lily? Aunt Hermione dropped some off earlier,” Sarah told me in a soft, gentle voice.
I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath. In truth a part of me really wanted to give in and take Aunt Hermione’s potion but a larger part of me didn’t want to have to resort to taking a potion in order to sleep every night for the rest of my life. I had to draw the line at some point and teach myself to control my ‘talent’.
“Lils, uh…I, uh, I really think you should, you know, take that potion,” Siri whispered, not meeting my gaze.
“Do you now?” I scoffed. The ‘Save Lily Potter’ campaign being run by my friends was really getting old. Sarah and Mack felt more like nannies now, Bry was testing my ‘cognitive thinking’ at any opportunity, Molly and Katy kept owling my mum with status reports and Jake was just flat out avoiding me. James was the only person who attempted to act normal around me. But Sirius, my big, overprotective brother was acting the oddest.
He was still angry at me for putting his ‘girlfriend’ in her place but he was also taking advantage of his status as big brother and putting his two cents in whenever he deemed fit. My annoyance with him was at a breaking point. If he was going to care, then he could apologize for those awful things he said to me and for letting some tart in our family business.
“Yes, and I don’t want to hear any form of argument about this, Lily,” Siri continued, attempting to sound stern enough to force me to listen. Unfortunately for Siri, our mother was much better at being forceful than him and even she can’t always guarantee my cooperation.
“Well, maybe I’ll take you seriously when you stop acting like such a wanker!” I responded.
Siri just stared at me in disbelief as he sat in his chair. Never, in all of my life, have I ever spoken to him like that. I forced my expression to remain stern and I caught a glimpse of Jake’s eyes peering at me over the back of the couch. Sarah, Mack and James just silently watched and waited for someone to say something.
“Good luck tomorrow,” I added, turning and heading up the staircase.
“Does anyone think Lily just sounded exactly like her mum?” Sarah asked.
“Definitely, but that glare was all Uncle Harry. What do you think, Siri?” Jake asked.
“I just got called a wanker by my baby sister, Jake. I’m more concerned about that than which parent she resembles,” Siri answered.
James cocked an eyebrow and Siri sighed. “Fine, she’s Mum! Frighteningly just like Mum!”
**
“Lillian,” a sweet voice called.
I kept my eyes closed, too afraid of what I might see if I opened them.
“Lillian,”
The voice was so soft and so pretty, it was practically forcing my eyes to open. I felt warm all over and every syllable uttered was like a comforting blanket being draped over me. I finally gave in and opened my eyes.
I was shocked to see myself looking down on a little dark haired girl in a flower bed. Then I saw my mum coming toward the girl and I realized I wasn’t seeing anything special; I was looking at the moment when I displayed my first signs of magic.
“Hello honey, what are you doing?” Mum asked my younger self.
“Daddy gets home tonight right? I’m making him a flower necklace to wear at dinner,” my younger self replied.
“That’s very sweet, dear. Can you pick a yellow flower for me?”
My younger self giggled and gazed at the many flowers with a look of concern. Finally, a red flower was chosen and right as my hand made contact with the stem, the blossom turned yellow. Mum’s face lit up and she screamed in delight. I watched her lift my small body off the ground and shower me with murmured praises and kisses. I realized that I must have been a late bloomer. Judging by my appearance I was probably about six years old, and I know all the boys had all had their ‘moment’ by the age of four.
I closed my eyes and sought comfort in the scene playing before me. A smile played across my lips until I remembered that these visions have a way of changing without my permission when I close my eyes. And sure enough, when I opened my eyes again I was no longer looking at my mother showering me with kisses.
I was back at Sybill’s house again, the main room in the same state as before. Only this time there was someone sitting on the floor. I cautiously approached the mysterious person and my heart fluttered in my chest when I realized it was my father.
“DAD!” I cried as happiness surged through me. I knew he wouldn’t respond but he was mumbling something to himself. His fingertips were rubbing his temples in a rhythmic motion.
“She wouldn’t have killed Draco right away because she needs him. She must have taken him somewhere. Where would they go? What is the best option?” he stood up and began pacing.
“They’d go somewhere she could feel safe and protected. Family…it doesn’t matter which side you fight for, people seek protection from their family!” he shouted, throwing his hands in the air triumphantly.
He stopped as if something suddenly occurred to him. “Oh no! No, no, no! We should have seen this sooner!” he whispered before wordlessly Disapparating, leaving me confused and alone.
“Sybill? Are you here? Alice? Anyone?” I called out, listening to my echo bounce off the walls.
Deciding to use my ‘vision jumping’ ability to my advantage, I closed my eyes again, praying I would end up wherever my dad went. Instead I was in a dark room. The air reeked of sweat and blood and it was brutally cold. I decided that I must be in a cellar of some sort and took a brave step forward. A cloud of dust assaulted my eyes, causing them to tear up and burn.
And then I stepped in something slick and almost lost my balance. I lit my wand and bent down, shining the small amount of light down by my feet. When I realized what I was looking at I screamed and jumped back. I continued to shine the light on the floor near me and felt vomit rise in my throat. I was standing in a pool of blood.
“Oh, gods! Oh, sick, gross, nastiness! Yucky!” I cried as I tried to find away around the puddle that didn’t involve me walking through it.
“Who’s there?” a voice croaked.
My heart skipped a beat before plummeting to my stomach. “Wh “ what?” I whispered.
“Is someone there? Come to finish me off have you? I won’t tell you anything! It doesn’t matter what you do to me, you hear? I won’t tell you a bloody thing!”
I gulped and pointed my wand in the direction of the voice. I was hoping it was just someone having a dream or a hallucination, but what I saw made me gasp in surprise.
“I heard that! Who’s there? ANSWER ME DAMNIT!”
“Dr “ Draco?” I choked out.
His face was unrecognizable and his blonde hair was matted with dried blood. His only open grey eye gazed at a point just to the left of my head while his other eye was practically black and as big as a Quaffle. His lips were cracked and swollen and he was much too pale. His skin was hanging off his bones and he kept drawing deep, rattling breaths each time he spoke.
“Ibby, baby is that you?” he asked, softly.
I cleared my throat. “Um, no, it’s…a, it’s Lily,” I answered.
“Potter? Why can’t I see you then? How did you get in here? Where are the others? Are you going to help me or not?” he rattled off.
“Where are we?” I asked, taking a step toward him. I needed a minute to try to understand what was going on here. How was I able to interact with him? How could he hear me but not see me?
“The old Riddle House, but surely you knew that since you are here. What’s going on? What’s the plan?” Draco asked again, looking just past my right ear now.
“Holy shit!” I gasped. It suddenly occurred to me that I knew where Draco was at this moment. I can wake up and go to Mum and the Order can go save him. And then another realization blindsided me. Draco could hear me but he couldn’t see me…yet. He must be close to dying in order for me to be able to talk to him but I couldn’t touch him. I needed to wake up quickly and get Mum to move fast.
“Draco listen, okay? Hold on, I’m going to tell the others you are here and they will come for you. Just hold on a little longer. Can you do that?” I asked.
He merely grunted in response. I was about to attempt a simple healing spell but then decided against it. First off, I wasn’t entirely sure I would be successful and secondly, his tormentors might find it a bit odd if he was slightly healed the next time they saw him.
I closed my eyes and poured every ounce of my soul into forcing myself to wake up. It was the oddest feeling…I felt stuck. I wasn’t in the cellar with Draco anymore but I wasn’t back in the dorm either. Just when I began to think I’d never be successful, I was forcefully pulled forward. I opened my eyes and found myself tangled in my sheets. I breathed a quick sigh of relief and sprinted out of my bed and down the stairs, not caring if I woke anyone in the process.
Once I reached the fireplace I frantically searched for the Floo powder Dumbledore had mentioned. I knocked over two lion statues, a picture of the House team and some weird little silver trinket before spotting a small, red pot. I grabbed a pinch of the powder inside and threw it into the fireplace. Then I crouched down near the hearth, stuck my head in the green flames and called “The Burrow!”
“MUM! MUM! MUM!” I screamed, my voice coming out hoarse and shaky.
She came sprinting into the den, her hair knotted and eyes puffy. “Lily? What’s happened?” she asked, the alarm in her voice audible.
“It’s Draco. He’s in the cellar of the old Riddle house and, Mum he’s going to DIE soon if he doesn’t get any help!” I cried, tears streaming down my face.
Her eyes widened in alarm but her face was determined. She nodded at me once, said “Thank you, Lily,”, and then she was gone.
I sat back on the floor and sobbed, rocking myself back in forth in an effort to quiet myself. This was my newfound purpose in life, my ‘gift’ to the world. I have the ability to communicate with the dead and try to help those close to dying. There are no words to describe the sense of responsibility that caved down on me in that moment. It’s too much responsibility, I don’t want to save everyone, I don’t want to see people on the verge of death…I don’t want to be Lily Potter anymore.
To Find the Truth by hopelesslyhopeful
Chapter Notes: Sorry it took so long to update, but with the 7th book coming out and work getting kind of crazy, I just didn't have time to update. But I hope this chapter makes up for it and you all enjoy...