How do you do this? How do you, so effortlessly, manage to make me smile and then weep within the space of a sentence. I'm grinning at Superhero Sirius, laughing along with Lily when James walks in and interrupts them and then my heart drops when you say he told James the real story. It drops even furthur when it sinks in that James and Lily haven't got much longer to live.

I love little snapshot stories like this. They make the characters come even more alive and adds a poignancy to the tale when you know what happens to them all.

Hmm, I bet Peter wasn't visiting him mummy. I bet he was being all sneaky and Death Eatery. *snarls at Pettigrew*

Small nit-pick. I am his best girl - not Lily.

Much love ~Carole ~

Author's Response: Carole,
Thank you for your review. However, wipe your tears and shake off your confusion. I am his best girl, this is Sirius not Remus. Of course, our Mr Black may use that line quite a bit. Thanks again honey.

Terri

Hello, I enjoyed this fic. I thought it was a good idea and Petunia and Vernon were very well portrayed. The conversation they have when Harry is dumped upon them must have been horrifying as well as funny.

There were a few spelling mistakes and some occasional places where I thought the characterisation slipped (for instance, I'm not sure Vernon would call Petunia 'honey' - it seems too nice for him , or Tuney which was Lily's pet name for her - Petunia would not have wanted Vernon to call her that.)

and then lodes of people in odd cloaks, it should be loads not lodes.

‘Thank you Vernon, you sweetie’ There should be a comma after you and a full stop after sweetie.

‘ And through away these disgusting things… It should be throw not through.

There were also a few capitalization mistakes (Loony - loony. Wizarding School - wizarding school) and some missing apostrophes in a few places (sisters surname/ sister's surname).

I have a little Brit-pick as well, which is very minor - but 'public' schools in Britain are actually 'private' and you have to pay for them. Odd, I know, but that's Britain for you. You could change to 'state school'

Finally, you introduced another character in the dialogue (Mary) and the challenge is supposed to be a conversation between two people.

Sorry if I sound harsh; I feel that this was such a good idea and the conversation flowed very well, but I was rather too aware of the punctuation and spelling mistakes at times.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks for your review! And thanks for the corrections, I'll fix them as soon as I get home. Thanks again!

This is a very interesting take on not only life in Azkaban but on the relationship between the two Lestrange brothers - so well done for that. It's hard in this particular category to sustain the tension, purely through dialogue, but you've managed this very well.

There were one or two places where, to my rather annoying Brit-picky ears, the dialogue sounded a little too American and casual. For instance:
You’re going nuts, Rolph.
Personally, I think this pair would say 'crazy' or 'mad'. And a later reply of Rodolphus' 'As if.' strikes me as too modern for someone who is in the rest of his dialogue rather formal.

The moments where they slipped from adult speech to the language of children "You're mean." were well placed and helped to add interest to the setting. I particularly liked how you gave Rabastan a bit of a conscience regarding the Longbottoms. Mind you, killing them would probably have been a blessing for them.

Well done ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, hon. I probably should have given the story to you for Brit-picking before submitting it. lol. But I'm glad you liked it. :)

Blimey! THis is a powerful piece, Ari. I don't read a lot about the bouncing ferret, but you may have me converted. His whole outlook is very refreshing. He wasn't self-pitying, snivelling, or unbearably proud - he was just someone who wanted it to be over. When he jumped I was in shock. The whole flashback scenes as he was dying were handled superbly. You could have laid it on thick, but this was subtle and so it worked.

What I think I'm most pleased about is that he saved himself. For one moment I thought Harry had turned up and was pulling him out of the ocean. At that point I was pulling a face like this >.< , but then you showed it was a hallucination and so instead I was like this :-) . (Sorry, it's been a long weekend and I've gone a bit crazy!)

I had a minor nitpick over the use of the word gotten, but it's my pet Britpick peeve so ignore me.

Great story. Well done. ~Carole~

Why haven't I read this before? I really like this opening chapter. You've set the scene well, and everything seems very plausible (Poor Ron!). I love how you've shown this from two different POVs as well.

In particular, I liked the fact that you included some glimmers of humour (the rogue house elf had me snorting), and George saying he'd give up his other ear to see Fred again brought a wry smile to my face. Poor George ... and Fred.


Author's Response: Oh hey, Carole! It's a surprise to see you here. Well, I'm glad you like it :) Originally I was going to write it from only Hermione's perspective but I realised that I wanted to show George as well and what he is going through, how it parallels with Hermione's own struggles etc. I hope you keep reading. Thanks for the review!

Awwww, this is just love! I adore the twist on the 'Forty' prompt. I could not work out what you were going to do at all. I like Neville/Hannah fics - there's not that many around because people don't seem to like the pairing, but why can't they be happy? Russia, Hannah is lovely and comes to life in the fic and the relationship with Neville is very believable - he is also adorable and I'm pleased he wanted to get back with her before she told him she was pregnant.

Really good. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Caroleeeee, how did I not respond to this before? Thankyou so much! I loved the idea of a twist, I thought everyone woudl do the "fortieth birthday" and I do hate to follow the crowd :-p I am so glad you like my Hannah! I never even really thought about it... she just kind of flowed onto the paper :-D I really wanted Neville to want to get together with her before she told him about the baby, I didn't want anyone thinking he was getting back with her just because she was pregnant, that isnt at all romantic, is it? Thanks again Caroleee! Russia xxxxx

Hello Amanada!

Here to do my Puff duty - although it isn't a duty - it's an absolute joy. Okay, I don't read a lot of Ron/Hermione because too often he's portrayed as some stupid buffoon and people forget that in DH he really started to mature when Harry was becoming all flakey. So, I love that in your fic he is mature, warm and not at all idiotic.

I adore the Lavender references and I'm pleased you've shied away from making Lavender out to be a total mush head. (I'm protective of Lavender at the moment).

The fact that he could count how many kisses they'de had is really sweet and sad. It shows that not everything fell into place straight away.

Your fic, my love, shows a great deal of talent. I adore your style and you write romance well without becoming cheesy or at all fluffy. It is honest.

Lovely story. ~Carole~

Author's Response:

Oh, it seems that our view on post-Hogwarts Ron is quite similar. And Lavender, oddly enough, though we've never discussed it. I didn't even plan on writing that part about her, it just happened. Hermione kind of took over.

Thank you so so much for the read, and thank you even more for taking the time to leave wonderful words of encouragement. It means the world.

~Amanda

Very clever. You start off giving us some lovely lines about the hot August day, and Hogwarts having fun. (Summer holidays, I bet those teachers are living it up without those pesky children) You give us some lovely description, la la la , all is pleasant in the worls and then WHAM! There's a dead girl at the bottom of the lake. And now I need to know her story. I need to know what Emily did that so upset Tom Riddle. The imagery is qyuite frightening, BB. You've described the skeleton not graphically, but still gruesomely ... I've read this through several times now, and a few times aloud, and it flows very well and the rhythm does not seem forced.

Great job, BB. ~Carole~

Hmm, interesting. Not quite how I envisaged the whole Whomping Willow incident (in my mind Siriius readily admits it) but of course we don't actually know. Ohh, Sirius is Cain, James is Abel ... except Abel is murdered by Cain, and Peter - in effect murders James ... so that leaves Sirius as ... I dunno - God?

Let me get a bit more serious about this. First off, I did say this wasn't quite how I saw this incident, but that's purely my opinion. I can't see Sirius hiding the fact from James that he told Snape about the Willow, or blaming Peter. I think he'd be proud of the fact that he played this so-called prank. His justification for playing the trick (when he finally admits to it) is believable, he loathes Snape and wouldn't necessrily think of the consequences - but why does he refer to Snape as a traitor? I'm not sure that's a word he'd use, for who has Snape betrayed?

I liked the setting and they all spoke very authentically (teenage boys have potty mouths!), but I was a bit confused as to when this was set. You mention it being a September evening, then James comes in with snow on his robes. Snow in September is very rare - even for Scotland. I think you'd be better making it December.

What worked particularly well here was James' characterisation. He seems so much more mature than Sirius. When he hits him ... and then apologises ... and then argues some more, I got a very real image of a person that know he has to stand up to his friend ... he has to drum some sense into him, and of course he's very, very angry.

Peter was interesting. The peacemaker who wasn't siding with either one, unwilling to be caught in the middle, yet knowing he will be. Good bit of foreshadowing at the end.

One last thing ... I wanted this to be longer. Good story, BB. ~Carole~

"You see, Moony you really are so stubborn at times. I don't know why you didn't just give in to start with. You always knew she was going to win."

"I think I put up a good fight, actually, Padfoot."

"Call that a fight? HA! Weak as water, you dumb werewolf."

"OY! Just because I decided there were more important things than playing the field, you mangy cur, doesn't mean I'm weak."

"If you say so, Moony. If you say so."

"Prongs, back me up here."

"Errr, leave me out of it. You know I'm not supposed to be here. If Lily caught me she'd skin me dead."

"Where are you supposed to be then?"

"Oh, tea with Sniv .. I mean Severus. She has this idea that we can all be friends now."

"Well, perhaps you can."

"Don't talk rubbish, Moony. Just because your wife quite likes him, doesn't mean you have to."

"It has nothing to do with Dora."

"Why are your ears going pink then?

"He saved my life, remember. And Harry's a few times."

"PAH! So what. He's still a snivelling, greasy-haired ..."

"He's not really greasy-haired now though, is he? I mean his hair now he's not-quite-a-ghost-more-of-a-solidified-memory is in reasonable condition."

"Godric, Prongs, you sound like you should be writing the beauty column for Witches Weekly. Face it, I'm the one with the luscious locks here - not Snivellus!"

"Oy, Sirius Black. If anyone has great hair here, it's me not you. I can change mine whenever I like."

"Ah, Nymphadora. We were wondering when you were going to show up. Been tripping over things recently?"

"Actually, cousin dear, I've been talking to Fred."

"Hmm, I don't like the sound of this guys. My wife and Fred Weasley - very dangerous combination."

"You better believe it, O-husband-of mine."

Carole sighs and turns all of them out of her living room, except Sirius because his hair is looking rather gorgeous today. Lovely story, Terri. Both characters very IC, and the touches where he remembers the Marauders are beautiful. Gah! Remus must have been so lonely, for so long. I still can't accept that they're dead *Rushes off to read ALMT again* Hope you like this review ~Carole~