Very nice. I like how you lent a fairy tale atmosphere to this by having Harry describe Hermione and Luna as the "two prettiest girls in the Kingdom." You further reinforced the image with the crowns each girl made.

I like the contrast in the girls. You emphasised this in the description of their laughter. Luna appealed to Harry's emotions while Hermione appealed to his logic. I especially liked what Luna said about Harry needing to stop being the Boy-Who-Lived and start being the Boy-Who-Lives. What an apt observation.

I caught one spelling mistake in the beginning: adventerous should be adventurous.

Aw, poor Arthur. Fortunately for him, we know how things work out. The exchange between Molly and Arthur over the rules reminds me of someone else from current canon. Interesting parallel to draw, but it definitely has canon support. Harry observes himself how Ron and Hermione remind him of Mr and Mrs Weasley, and we've seen Molly badger Arthur about sticking to the rules, as well.

I found a couple of minor editing nits: “Don’t worry, Molly. I won’t let you down,” he promised, winking at her You're missing a period at the end of this sentence. “Leave him alone - he’s really nice…a much better person than you are.” Molly replied, attempting a defense. You want a comma after "are", not a period.

There's something poignant about the flashback at the beginning of this chapter. I think it's seeing Molly's brothers when we know what's going to happen to them. It's also sort of interesting how Maeve comes in between Molly and Arthur from day one. It sort of parallels they way she's reluctant for Molly and Arthur to get together in the beginning of the story. It's also ironic, because that seems to be turning around.

Nitpicky stuff: Prefect’s coach This should be "Prefects' coach" with the apostrophe after the S. There's more than one prefect at Hogwarts, and the coach is for all of them. “Maeve” You're missing punctuation in there. who you’re mystery girl is You want "your" in there, not "you're". when the heard Pringle Typo in there: "they" not "the".

the sun began to set, casting prisms of light across the lake. The two of them watched it in quiet awe, before the red sun finally melted away beneath the cool black of the lake, leaving the sky dark and revealing the hundreds of sparkling stars above them. That's a nice bit of description there.

LOL, it's the famous incident where Molly and Arthur stayed out too late! I was wondering.

Ms. Prewett I'd seriously consider changing the Ms to Miss. In canon, the female students are never referred to as "Ms". Also this didn't come into usage until the mid-1970s (or Marauder's era), and that was in the US. I don't even know if it's used much in the UK.

Aw, I like how the Fat Lady let her off at the end.

I don’t want you to fall for him for the same reason…You’ll just end up getting stuck in a relationship you don’t want to be in, and you’ll be too soft to end it.” URGH. I really don't like Maeve. She may think she's being a friend, but who is she to tell Molly who to fall for and who not to? She's acting like Molly's interfering mother. At least she's got the grace to look guilty after setting Molly and Amos up, but it's not enough to redeem her in my eyes.

Some little editing nits: his smile not losing any of it’s usual brightness. You want "its" here, not "it's". we should be getting to be Transfiguration I think you've got an extra word in there. “And he is NOT in love with me” she added after a moment. You're missing a comma after "me". from the boy’s discussion You want the apostrophe after the S on "boys" there -- there're more than one boy involved in the discussion. whoever she likes” Arthur said Another missing comma after "likes".

More edits for you if the moochie doesn't get you first: Professor Binn’s: Professor Binns, no apostrophe. There wouldn't be an apostrophe in Dark Arts here, either: start that Dark Art’s essay on Aurors. You’re starting you’re essay already: the first "you're" in there is correct, but the second one is a possessive adjective, so you want "your". it’s time for dinner.” she said: You want a comma after "dinner", not a period.

I suppose Maeve's shallowness has its uses: she's cottoned on to Arthur, anyway. Since we know how that all works out, I'll try not to dislike her so much. ;-) Now, as for Arthur, I think he needs a good swift kick in the seat of his trousers. Happily we know Molly is just the person to give it to him. I also got a smile out of Arthur making all his friends shape up since he's become a prefect. Something tells me that he's doing it to impress Molly.

I noticed your author's note about the chapter being short. Sometimes chapters just are short. You really shouldn't try to pad a short chapter out just to make it the same length as the others. If you've accomplished everything your plot demands in a given chapter, then it's the right length. This one didn't leave me with the impression of anything missing.

Why am I not shocked that all Amos wants to talk about is himself? He rubbed me that way in GOF, too, always wanting to make his son out to be bigger than he was.

Nitpicky editing stuff: Molly forced herself to laugh “How did you guess?” she asked dryly You're missing periods at the end of both those sentences. I don’t think you’re friends You want "your friends" in there. to edit it a bit.” he said. You want a comma after "bit" not a period. She laid down in her bed "lay" not "laid".

“Whatever,” Maeve said "Whatever" is a pretty modern expression. You don't state the year, but it's a good guess that it's pre-Marauders-era, and that was in the 70s. I grew up in the 70s and we didn't say "whatever" in this sense. When you're writing about teenagers in another era, it's hard to get the slang right. It's probably best to keep away from too many slang expressions unless you can get someone who grew up in the timeframe you're writing about to verify them.

Maeve isn't quite so irritating in this chapter. Maybe it's because she's got a boyfriend now?

Thanks so much for the reviews. Me huggles them.

I always love finding a humour fic that doesn't rely on making the HP characters we know from canon behave in an as OOC manner as possible to drive the comedy. You've managed that wonderfully! I was a bit confused as to what marigolds were at first, but I worked it out from the context. For a while there, though, I thought he had flowers on his hands...

Author's Response: Thank you. :) I've had someone say that before about the marigolds, but have never gotten around to changing it to simply "rubber gloves". Perhaps one day... *grin* I hope you enjoyed the rest.

,p>Thanks for the giggle. I know this is a humour fic and so it's not meant to be taken so seriously, but why are the Weasley twins still at Hogwart? I was assuming that this was Harry's sixth year, although you never really say.

So if pheonix poo makes great shampoo, what does cat pee do? Condition? Hot oil treatment? What? Enquiring minds want to know!

Interesting start. I don't see any major issues with grammar or word choice here. However, I do feel there's just enough "off" about the canonicity to warrant comment. The second paragraph implies that Harry has been locked into his room, and yet we learn at the end of OOP that if the Dursleys mistreat Harry at all, all Harry has to do is let the Order know and Moody will be around to visit. Now perhaps Harry is in such a funk that he hasn't bothered telling anyone. That would make sense, given his mental state. On the other hand, it sounds from the text as if Harry is just putting his letters in a drawer and not bothering to reply. If this is the case, then Moody would definitely have been round to see what the matter was. It would be helpful to make that issue a little clearer.

You also mention that Hogwarts students are now allowed to preform magic outside of school. It was not mentioned in the books that the ban on magic outside school was lifted, so this aspect could use a bit more clarification. Was there a special law passed or something along those lines?

You tend to spend a lot of time telling the reader things he should already know from the books. I don't personally think it's necessary to remind us of the circumstances under which Harry acquired his second bedroom, or that his godfather was recently killed. I know JKR does this in early books, but I don't think she needs to do that either.

A couple of other nit related to canoncity: Hermione signs her letters "love from" in the books. Did you change that as an indication of some sort of difference in her attitude towards Harry this summer? Sirius wasn't killed by just any old Death Eater; it was his first cousin, Bellatrix. Also Harry did have a Daily Prophet subscription in OOP -- he just never bothered reading more than the front page. There really isn't any reason why Harry couldn't take out his own subscription again this summer.

Sorry, I know I'm doing a lot of nitpicking here. It's what I do best. *grin* I did really like the observation about how Harry's life was divided into two parts, the before and the after Sirius' death. Also I think you got Harry's state of mind just right.

First of all, congratulations on finishing the story. It may not seem like much, but to finish something is actually a feat in and of itself. A lot of authors have no trouble starting, but then they get bogged down and can't get where they want to go. Either that or they have no idea how to finish something off. I know you had this outlined, so you knew where you were going, but then I also know you struggled with writer's block. Congratulations on not letting it get you down and beating it!

Now I'm going to get the more nit-picky stuff out of the way.

...vile things you’d done to her.”

So you went off and battled evil wizards?

There's a mistake in that paragraph transition with the quote marks. When changing paragraphs mid-speech, the quote mark gets left off the end of the paragraph, but there is a quote mark at the opening of the next one. Also at the very end of Petunia's rant to Harry, you need a question mark on the last sentence.

his infant daughter laying against his chest "Laying" should be "lying".

Tear leaked from the corners of his clenched eyes. Either you're missing the S on "tears" or you want "A tear".

It’d been a difficult evening, they’d had to wait for everyone else to go to bed before they could really talk with each other. You need more of a transition between "evening" and "they'd", either a semi-colon or a period.

“that poor by.” Couple of things here: "boy" not "by", and the period goes outside the quote marks in a case like this. This is a bit of an exception to the regular rule. You're not quoting someone's speech here, and the phrase in the quote marks isn't a complete sentence.

but Ron and learned to do it more quietly But Ron had learned to do it more quietly.

Finally, I loved the closing scene. It brings everything to a much better sense that the story is over than the place where you'd left things before. I especially liked the interplay with the spells (switching spells, etc). alongside the idea of Harry transitioning from Ron's best friend to his brother-in-law. I also like how you brought in a little mention of Hermione at the end. It's sort of a nod to the original trio, even though this story wasn't really centered on them.

Congratulations again on finishing!