I do not own Harry Potter. I'm just a person who has thoroughly enjoyed the series and wishes to celebrate it with other fans.
He was tired of living in the same world as Harry-Bloody-Potter, and yet was not so obliging as to leave it by dying.
He, he, he. Funny. I love how Snape doesn't just arrive there and say, "I think I'll be a pirate today."
I have a question: Did we indeed encounter Albus Dumbly-door?
Ay, yes! Talk Like a Pirate Day is September . . . 19? I think that's what it is.
Smiles,
Luna
Author's Response: Snape's a lubber. Piratin' be not dreamt of in his philosophy...until he took a fateful trip. ;)
Albie be Dumbly-door's ancestor, who may or may not have met an old pirate named Black Hand.
Ye be right, me beauty!
That certainly is a little different for you. I didn't believe you when you said it would be more intense than your other stories.
There are a few typoes (typos?) like forgotten words or letters. Not so much that it takes away from the story, but enough to notice.
Smiles,
Luna
Author's Response: I FEEL LIKE A FILTHY ANIMAL! I DON'T LIKE WRITING BLOODY VIOLENCE! UGHHHH! These gauntlets are too much for me! Yeah, there are so many typos... I don't know how they all got in there! I use spell check!
It takes a little luck to get the potion of Felix Felicis right!
Written for Ascending into Alchemy final Fall Term 2008."Dragon blood and the Quicksilver, the root of the potion" -Quicksilver? The potion has mercury in it? No wonder it gives you that high once you drink it.
Sorry, anyway. Really nice. This was so interesting! Looking back now, I realize there was no dialogue, which surprises me even more, because I found it so engaging.
My main issues with this story are some of the commas. In any case, great job!
Smiles,
Luna
Author's Response: Hi Luna!
Yes, you're right about the mercury in the potion. That was its intended purpose. The Mercury also serves another purpose: it helps to form those goldfish like drops which leap about without spilling over.:D
Thank you so much for the review! And I'll get those commas sorted out. They're a little too many, I know. The fact is, I didn't have this one-shot beta'd due to time constraints, and commas are my weak point. I'll try correcting it.
Thanks, once again.
~H.J.
This is the story of the Hogwarts Marauders.
"With laughs and joy
And plans and pride
They took that magical world
And flipped it on its side."
>>This might be my favorite stanza. It feels genuine. Also, the words really flow together.
Your poem was really enjoyable. One thing I did notice was in every stanza, the first line works well as does the fourth line, but sometimes the middle lines jar. My main concern is that you seemed to be more concerned about rhyming than the rhythm.
I like that you stayed with the same rhyme scheme the whole time. In a poem this long it nice to have it tied together by something like that. I also appreciated the humour in your rhyme scheme. ("James Pot . . . ter".) It makes it feel likes there's a real person that wrote this. :)
Rhythm is equally important as the rhyme scheme. Whenever someone speaks, you can hear the rhythm in his or her speech. If someone's rhythm is off, his or her speech sounds really weird. Does that make sense? Rhythm troubles happen to everyone. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so if the rhythm isn't exactly to my liking I quit. (I can't even count how many times that's happened.) That's right: I'm a quitter. Kudos to you for not being lame like me.
Hopefully this doesn't sound condescending, dumb, painfully awkward, or rude. I don't mean for it to.
Smiles,
Luna
P.S. Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Luna, thou art amazing! Thanks for the concrit and comments, it means a lot to me when people aren't afraid to tell me the errors I make without hiding them subtley or trying to sugar-coat it (can you guess that this has happened to me recently?;) ). I love that you enjoyed this, and that you liked that stanza and the James Pot...ter line; in Poetry, Anyone? on the forums, a few people told me to either edit the wording or edit it out completely.
I understand the bit about rhythm and rhyming a lot better now that you've explained it like that, and I'm really grateful that you took the time to let me know. None of that was "condescending, dumb, painfully awkward, or rude"; I really appreciated it. Thanks for R&Ring! {BeccA}
I really love the way this poem is written, especially the repeating stanza. That little change in the last one is so simple, but it also sort of makes the whole poem work at the same time.
I also liked the rhythm. It seemed very natural, and even though you had to rearrange your sentences to make them fit, they never lost their meaning or became confusing. It was really well done and quite lovely.
Smiles,
Luna
Author's Response: Thanks! This reply is really late, but I still appreciate the review. I'm really glad you liked it! Thanks again for reading and reviewing!