Well done, Sandy. This is an interesting and original story. There's not a lot of Charlie Weasley fics out there, and the world needs more!

Your thought processes about the injuries and the remedy were flawless, and you have spun a good tale.

Enjoyed this a lot. Carole xxx

Author's Response: G'day, Carole. You always leave me smiling with your kind reviews. I like Charlie, he seems cool, hell, he works with dragons, how can he not be cool. And I got this idea. I'm glad you liked it and found it interesting and original. I'm also glad you liked the injuries and remedy good. I put a lot of thought into it. I had to make sure it was painful... I'm mean that way, but Prue was nice at least. LOL ...xXxLove SandyxXx...

Hey, Molly. I really enjoyed this story. James' fear is very well realised. I think childhood fears stay with us a lot longer than we like to admit, and his was a very frightening experience for a five-year-old. You're so right that by giving him a fear - he comes over as much more human and far less arrogant.

I particularly enjoyed Remus at the end. The fact that he's the one who comes out of the water to be with his friend. And James' reaction to Remus is brilliant. They're spending all their time helping Remus, they forget that he can help them. Your characterisation of both of them is superb and the last line made me sigh (a happy sigh).

Great one-shot, Molly.

Carole xxx

Author's Response: Well, I do have to thank you for suggesting this fear as well, and being so cool about allowing me to use it. And I also glad you loved the story so much!

Hmm, well I can't follow that spectacular review (I take it that's from a fellow Spewer) but I'll leave you a review, Afifa, my love.

This is interesting. I really like the background to this and the way James is escaping the press, not because he's famous, but because his dad is. I felt sorry for him at first because he obviously wanted to be a Quidditch player, but then he happened to find his niche with dragons. Ahhh, James Sirius, I hope you're living up to your namesakes.

Not much more to say except that I enjoyed it and I can't wait for the rest (except I know I'll have to. Carole xxx

Author's Response: Carole! :D

James Sirius, I'm sorry to say, won't live up to his namesakes. ;p Not about everything i.e. because I have to keep him have his own personality. But, there will be bits here and there which may seem Sirius-like or James-like. :)



Hehe. I'm sorry for the wait. I'll be putting the second chapter in the queue in a few minutes though, but for the rest you'll will have to be patient. :)



Thank you for the review, dear, and I'm glad that you liked it. :D



- Afifa



P.S. The other review is by James and he is a fellow SPEWer but your review is as precious as his. <3

Ahh, you're back, you're back and I'm delighted. (Now go and finish Light Up my Life!). You know something, yours was the first fanfiction I read on this site, and I still rave over it. You have a wonderful lyrical quality to your writing. I love this story and Lily is a joy. Not at all stuffy, or rulebound and I LOVED it when she kissed him (the first time).

I have to agree though, that it seemed a very abrupt ending. I had to go and check whether the story was completed and was then puzzled because it is. Hmmm, I don't know. I sure hope he's not going to let Moony down.

Great story though. Carole xxx

Curse you, Sainyn Swiftfoot, for your accurate portrayal of that final conversation with my daughter. You captured her very rebellious and scornful essence in that conversation.

How I truly wish I'd kept her locked up for longer in that cellar. Alas, she escaped, (I have no idea how, but strongly suspect that useless husband of mine accidently let her out when he went down there for some more Firewhisky (there was a spelling error, by the way, no 'e' in whisky).

However, I am pleased you made my feelings plain and presented my point of view in your story. Really, I couldn't have put it better myself. Mudbloods are trash, after all, and she does deserve to be with the rats.

I have to say if I'd heard her answer to the question about Utler the Unsane, then I would have locked her up sooner - impudent child always thinking she knew best.

Thank you for at least mentioning my two 'worthy' daughters, although I'm not sure my darling Cissa was betrothed/married to Lucius at this point. She was only 15 after all.

You show some talent, Mr Swiftfoot, but I strongly suspect you to be a Muggle so I cannot allow you to write anymore about me.

Cruc... What do you mean I'm not allowed to use an Unforgiveable on a Muggle? Well, really, Cygnus, that is quite ridiculous. You are free to leave, Swiftfoot, but do not use your quill against me again. ~Druella Black~

Author's Response:

hahahahaha I LOVED that review! xD It made my day all over again when I read it just now...

Was Cissa really that young, Mrs Black? I apologise for my mistake. I shall try to amend it. For now, I shall make this excuse: in your times, Mrs Black, people married young. Incest was rampant and so was marriage at ridiculously young ages. Is it not plausible that Narcissa was betrothed to Lucius already?

AND MUAHAHAHAHAHA. You take your unforgiveables and stick them where the sun doesn't shine, honey. PFFFFT.

And when he called me 'Mudblood' today, that's what made me start thinking. If, even for a moment, he was able to think me as worthless as the dirt beneath his feet...well, that's the last straw, really. The last little puzzle piece. Some combination of his family, his nature and his friends has turned him from a dear friend whose flaws I can overlook to a person I just can't see myself being able to keep in my life.

Minna, what a great set of lines, here. I love the way she's sitting, unable to concentrate, trying to work all of this out in her head. It wasn't just that one insult - it was a step too far, and why the heck should she forgive him - yet again? You give a very good insight into their friendship, the reasons they stuck by each other, and finally the reasons it all went wrong. Great job.

I'm not so sure about the parts when she's describing her about turn in regard to the Marauders. I truly like the bits where she's describing James and his ego, but I felt that maybe we didn't need the references to Remus and the others being like brothers. It seems a bit too explanatory to me (not sure if that makes sense), but it in no way detracts from a rather good fic about a moment in time. Wow! I can feel Lily squaring her shoulders to deal with Severus.

The ending is terrific. James looking like a dog who has done something wrong, is a lovely image, and Lily's nervouseness for what is a momentous shift in their relationship is well-written.

Good story, Minna.

~Carole~

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the story and thought it was reasonable. Thanks for reading and reviewing. -hugs-

Hello, there. I like your take on this prompt and think it's an excellent choice to use two Death Eaters as they try to explain their beliefs and actions. You kept the tension going throughout the piece and I was half-hoping that someone would discover them (I know, I know that couldn't have happened). Right, I do have a few nit-picks (sorry). There are some missing punctuation marks (commas mainly) - For instance Don’t get your want in a knot Malfoy. - you need a comma after knot. There's another instance when he mentions Macnair, that needs a comma too.

'muggle lover' Muggle should be capitalized.

You choose this. I think you mean chose - although choose could work, chose sounds better, in my opinion.
You will not loose. This should be lose - loose is when something isn't tight.

The other issue I have is when Macnair is talking to Lucius about his family. I don't think he'd dare call Narcissa a bitch - Lucius would have hexed him out of existence because Macnair just is not as important as Malfoy in the DE ranks. Also, there was a flawed logic in Macnair suggesting Draco was a coward so should have been in Gryffindor - although I guess Macnair could just be inconsistant. I was rather confused about when this was set. If Draco has the Dark Mark, and Arthur's in Diagon Alley with his family I presume it's just before the term starts in HBP. But ... Lucius was in Azkaban at the time. He doesn't get out until much later (I think he's still inside by the end of HBP when Draco's trying to kill Dumbledore)
I'm not sure Lucius would use the word 'guy' either. He's far too formal - and 'guy' is a modernish Americanism. Having said that, I did like that part of the fic, when he's warning Macnair about the danger of having a loose tongue.

Sorry, that was rather a lot of nit-picks. I did enjoy reading it, and certainly thought the interaction between the pair was good. The story flowed well, and the tension held throughout.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. The reason Lucius didn't hex Macnair was because he knew it would ruin the plan. He would rather have him call his wife names than ruin the Dark Lords plan. He could get back at him later. Thanks for pointing out that I don't have my times right. I guess I forgot to add the AU warning... Oh yeah, thatnks for your little nit-pics. They helped.

Hi there,

It's refreshing to see an Oliver fic and also one where Percy gets his revenge on the twins. As someone who has just written a whole fic about Oliver (albeit with a very different partner) I was intrigued at the set up.

First off, your characterisation was good. The twins, of course because you know them so well, were great, and so were the girls. I liked your OC - she was very strong. I'm very pleased they got together in the end.

I do have a few little nit-picks *sorry*

What have you gotten yourself into now?” This, unfortunately is a pet peeve of mine. 'Gotten' is an American word and Percy wouldn't use it. You could possibly get away with Teddy Lupin saying it as it's more modern but not Percy - or any Trio characters *crawls back into Brit pick hole*

narcissus the plural is narcissi

Rent Sorry, timeline error, they couldn't have seen this before 1993 (which is when your fic is set) because it didn't come out on Broadway in America until 1994.

But, they're all very minor, and it is good to see a fic where Percy gets revenge.

~Carole~

Author's Response: G'day Thanks for the review, Carole. I'm actually writting an Oliver fic too, that's why I wrote a one-shot. To see if I could get his characterisation right. I'll have to take a look at yours. LOL, I am good at the twins characterisation, cause I love George and Fred is just a more extreme George in a way. The brit-pick is fine, no idea what I'll change it too, although I could always be a Smart-Alec (LOL, that's my nephew's name) and say he picked it up from Antoinette, since Aussies say it too. Damn about the Rent... I have no idea what to turn it to... hopefully no one will mind. That section was based on someone I know. Go, Percy, get your revenge! LOL ...xXxLove SandyxXx...

This story is lovely, Bine. I truly like the way you've written a tentative friendship between the pair of them. The first line had me in stitches. Sirius sums up Lily very accurately, and in speaking that line, we see how perceptive he is.

It is the simple things that make this good. A pumpkin plant, both of them liking the feel of dirt on their hands. You've successfully stopped Lily being a Mary Sue by that one line. I also liked the comparisons between their two families, and the realisation that perhaps they have something in common. Sirius last few lines to Lily, about giving James a chance are obviously heartfelt - so well done.

I have a nit-pick over the use of the bark-like laugh - simply because since MWPP I'm hyper sensitive to any dog references regarding Sirius. But it in no way detracted from the fic, and other readers would probably find it valid (and it is canon). I did like it when his laugh changed from not being 'bark-like'.

Lovely tale, especially from someone who professes not to write Marauder.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, my dear. And I do write Marauder - from time to time. True, not all the time like you *wink* but in my opinion often enough. And I love reading a good Marauder story. The characters are fantastic to explore and read about. So this one-shot in a way was my exploring of Sirius and Lily and how their friendship might have started. The comparisons between their families I never saw like this; it developed while writing. While having Sirius and Lily talk about their siblings, I realised that, indeed, they have quite some similarities in regard to their brother and sister respectively.

Thank you for reading and leaving such a lovely review.

Hahahahahahahahaha - Julia, I've never seen this before. That's the great thing about SBBC, you get to seek out new life forms ... uh stories ... and even though this doesn;t have much to do with Lily so not suitable for this month, I couldn;t resist reading.

Petunia Evans! What a sneaky girl you are. I enjoyed this. I liked the differing POVs throughout and the way Vernon and Petunia are so obviously made for each other.

Well done ~Carole~

Author's Response: Oh dear I am kind of embarrassed that you read this! I have very often considered taking this down but there is a certain nostalgia attached to this fic that has always stopped me. Possibly because it was my first foray into Dursley fic and we all know how potty I am about those silly Muggles. However, I am glad it amused you and thank you for the review XD

Julz x