You have a good hold of your words. Your sentences are like silk threads weaving. I mean, you describe very eloquently and purposefully. The imagination wasn’t lost, and because of it, the words were almost tangible. Do you get what I mean? Sentences like these:

She wasn't wholly bad, of course, not an empty shell, an aesthetically-pleasing figure devoid entirely of presence.

The sheer, blazing warmth of his skin almost seems to crackle with magnitude.

And know that when his piercing gaze focuses with gut-wrenching consideration on the limbs his fingers and tongue have previously teased, it's pure and utter manipulation.

I like your Narcissa very much. I thought Rodolphus’ discernment of her is justified and accurate. I can really understand how she grew up to be confident in only one aspect of her life – her beauty in appearance. Although I would have enjoyed reading how exactly she came to be like that, say a scene with her sisters or her mother perhaps, I still liked reading your story. Narcissa’s self-prohibited rule of showing her personality was so sad. Her confidence in her own soul, mind, and heart wasn’t strong enough as she had for her outward appearance. It seemed like she thought she was pure in pretty much everything but her own self. And, good Merlin, the sentence “you just can't cope with the idea of anyone loving you, and at that, loving you for you. Not as a Black. Not as a beautiful pure-blood. But as Narcissa - the person you are. You can't handle the idea that someone is going deeper than your appearance.” was a perfect aim to her person. I think that was the most beautiful part in the story. My second favourite would be this: “But you - your personality, your soul is so ignored, so worthless in these circles, that no-one's ever really paid any due attention to it - they've never had to.” That was really brilliant. That line, ‘your soul is so ignored.’ Another perfect line to describe her perspective.

Rodolphus was an enigma as well. I can truly imagine him playing it up, thinking it was just a game. But somewhere, the fun stops, and it’s not long before someone gets hurt. He was a gentleman. . . sort of. I liked his character, although I would have liked it more if there was more mention to him than that sole scene.

Over all, a story with wonderful characters, but a rather thin plot. Not that I don’t like the concept of the pairing, but I thought it was too short, and better explanations could have been made. I would just like to ask though, what Narcissa felt after the whole flashback. I didn’t really get the signal she was sending with that sigh. Was she heartbroken by it, or sad because Rodolphus wasn’t very good at persuading her to love herself and him with it?

I hope you don’t think I was too harsh. I did enjoy reading it. :)

-Dinny.

Hello! This is a very interesting read. You manage to keep the characters age appropriate, which is a feat many authors miss while writing eleven year old boys. While they were on the platform, despite having most of the chapter already from the Epilogue, you managed to add your own twist to it, which was namely Albus's personality. His interaction with James was a great quality in the first two chapters. You captured what Jo wrote in the Epilogue and made it seem like if there was more to it, their taunts would be in the Epilogue. I almost couldn't get enough of it! It was very entertaining to read.

I do disagree with when Albus finds out about how Harry defeated Voldemort. It was bound to come up while they were younger. But I do believe that Harry and Ginny would have opted to stay away from wizard masses when the could, like choosing a Muggle resterant over a wizarding one, as people could say something to the family. What if one of the children asked what happened to Uncle Fred? Would they have lied? But I do understand Albus's confusion as to why everyone was staring at them; it must have been odd for an eleven year old. But I am curious. Why did you decide to leave them in the dark for eleven years?

A part in chapter five had me smiling. When Albus asked why he got the Cloak, Harry's answer just seemed like a perfect response. From what we see in the Epilogue and your writing, we can tell that James need invisibility to have fun or mess with people. It made my mind wrap around the family aspect of James and Albus, and James, Albus and Harry.

Please continue to write more of their relationship together, because you write it wonderfully and it makes your story sweeter, in a sense. It's my favorite part, and also the most enjoyable to read. I'm looking forward to seeing how you make the characters progress as the plot gets deeper, but I'm sure you'll write it just as well. you have Albus down well, from his confusion to his confrontation with someone bigger. So very nice job with that, as well as the rest of the story!

Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you so much for this amazingly detailed review! I'm glad you think I was successful in adding my own spin to the Epilogue. I probably enjoyed writing the interaction between Albus and James as much as you enjoyed reading it. It is a refreshing dynamic that we don't really get to see in the series. Harry and Hermione have no siblings and Ron has a ton of them, but here we get to see what happens with just one older sibling, which is something a lot of readers can probably relate to. Writing these scenes came naturally to me, because I can identify with both James and Albus -- I'm an older sibling, but I find I'm more similar to Albus. I agree that it is quite unlikely Harry's children would know nothing about his past. It was my interpretation when I read the Epilogue that the reason the children didn't know why everyone was staring was that they had no knowledge about the Second Wizarding War. While I found that doubtful, I thought that was JKR's intention, so of course I had to stick with it in my story. I even did my best to make it as plausible as possible. You might have noticed me mention that Albus isn't allowed to have Chocolate Frogs at home. While Albus (and probably a lot of readers) think Ginny is just concerned about his nutrition, she actually wants to make sure he doesn't get a Wizard card with his father on it. However, I really like your interpretation of the situation. It never occurred to me that the children might know about their parents' pasts, but just not fully comprehend how important they really were. This seems like a much more believable scenario and still fits with what we see in the Epilogue. Moving on, that's great that you thought Harry's answer to Albus about the Cloak was "a perfect response." I had actually thought of that exchange quite early in the writing of this story and tucked it away until I got to this chapter. Ok, now you're making me feel guilty. You're giving me such nice compliments about my writing, and now I have to tell you that my next chapter is the last one...and I don't believe James is in it. There will be some interaction between Albus and Harry, but sadly no James. In fact, I'm a little disappointed myself in the abruptness of my story. I wrote this for a college class and therefore had a deadline I had to meet, forcing me to make the story come to an end before my time was up. I've considered making an expanded version of this story (and I probably should), but I don't know when, or if, I'll get around to it. (Although reviews like yours make it more likely that I will take on such an endeavor.) Again, thank you for this spectacular review!

Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you so much for this amazingly detailed review! I'm glad you think I was successful in adding my own spin to the Epilogue. I probably enjoyed writing the interaction between Albus and James as much as you enjoyed reading it. It is a refreshing dynamic that we don't really get to see in the series. Harry and Hermione have no siblings and Ron has a ton of them, but here we get to see what happens with just one older sibling, which is something a lot of readers can probably relate to. Writing these scenes came naturally to me, because I can identify with both James and Albus -- I'm an older sibling, but I find I'm more similar to Albus.

I agree that it is quite unlikely Harry's children would know nothing about his past. It was my interpretation when I read the Epilogue that the reason the children didn't know why everyone was staring was that they had no knowledge about the Second Wizarding War. While I found that doubtful, I thought that was JKR's intention, so of course I had to stick with it in my story. I even did my best to make it as plausible as possible. You might have noticed me mention that Albus isn't allowed to have Chocolate Frogs at home. While Albus (and probably a lot of readers) think Ginny is just concerned about his nutrition, she actually wants to make sure he doesn't get a Wizard card with his father on it. However, I really like your interpretation of the situation. It never occurred to me that the children might know about their parents' pasts, but just not fully comprehend how important they really were. This seems like a much more believable scenario and still fits with what we see in the Epilogue.

Moving on, that's great that you thought Harry's answer to Albus about the Cloak was "a perfect response." I had actually thought of that exchange quite early in the writing of this story and tucked it away until I got to this chapter.

Ok, now you're making me feel guilty. You're giving me such nice compliments about my writing, and now I have to tell you that my next chapter is the last one...and I don't believe James is in it. There will be some interaction between Albus and Harry, but sadly no James. In fact, I'm a little disappointed myself in the abruptness of my story. I wrote this for a college class and therefore had a deadline I had to meet, forcing me to make the story come to an end before my time was up. I've considered making an expanded version of this story (and I probably should), but I don't know when, or if, I'll get around to it. (Although reviews like yours make it more likely that I will take on such an endeavor.)

Again, thank you for this spectacular review!

What a great read. I think this is actually my first time venturing into the Mystery genre, and I’m glad I did. I’ve never really been a fan of crime fics, but I think you’ve halfway converted me. Your apt and flow-y writing was certainly absorbing; the descriptions (like the surroundings of the farms and the way Knowe Place looked like) was very clear and concise. I’m glad that it didn’t take me more than one try to picture the place. It usually takes me three times to picture it perfectly, whether or not there are enough substance to go by. In this story, there definitely was a lot of substance. It wasn’t overly descriptive, something that I get annoyed at because when something is described too much, it typically goes off to other topics.

I have to say, your writing is extremely mesmerizing. I loved how each scene flowed perfectly to the next, no awkwardness or abruptness. There wasn’t any slamming of doors to the face. More like a gentle opening of a window. Like I said, the writing is mesmerizing. It made me fully absorbed to Hannah’s dilemma and made the time go faster. I was intimidated by the length at first, but that quickly went to the back of my mind.

Besides adoring your writing, I think I adore the way you wrote Hannah the most. Her gentle, yet adamant nature is like a water break for me. I’ve grown tired of the demanding natures of Gryffindors and the slick, threatening temperament of Slytherins. Ravenclaws are as underestimated as Hufflepuff but not quite so. Yes, I think Hufflepuff will be my favourite now. I love how Hannah can be fully seen as a Hufflepuff here, especially in how she truly believes that her House is the best of all. Her sense of pride and determination is contagious; it affected me to the point that it made me want to do all my homeworks due this week. But really, Hannah is a great character here. My favourite scene is where she realizes she can use Gabe’s infatuation of her to find out about her mother’s freelance writings to Witch Weekly. In my opinion, it’s quite an underhanded tactic, and I can almost say it’s rather a Slytherin thing to do.

Besides Hannah, I loved every other character involved in the story. Auror Webb was such an understanding man, and in the part where he draws the line between sympathy and professionalism was a great way to describe his fatherly sympathies to Hannah. I guess he could imagine losing his wife, then later on as he advises Hannah not to delve in the matter any further, he can imagine losing a daughter as well. It was an unexpected, heart-warming scene as I thought that the Auror incharge would be insensitive, because that’s normally how the cops go in the movie…

And of course, how could I forgot Hannah’s father? It seems as if Hannah got her traits more from her father from what I can infer. I mean, he’s a pureblood (assuming he is because Uncle Peter called his wife a Mudblood) who married a Muggle-born. There goes the loyalty. Then there’s the strong hold he kept of Hannah as if not to fall down during the funeral. There goes the phrase ‘unafraid of toil.’ That just reminded me how Hannah kept a strong face when she realized she got lost in Knockturn Alley. Most of all, I loved how her father expressed his feelings as a father of a daughter. He recognizes the fact that Hannah will get swept away by some bloke and she’ll be taken away from him.

The plot was very intriguing. I think the plot was the crown in this story; the sequencing drove the whole thing to a climatic pace, and it’s sad to see that I won’t know the end of it till you write a sequel. The minor characters concerning Hannah’s mother’s death were fascinating touches to the plot, and you delivered their actions well. I can infer their motives from there and maybe, just maybe, my predictions would be right. I hope to see a sequel to this because I truly enjoyed reading this!

Author's Response:
Thanks for the long and detailed review. I’ll try to do it justice.

I’ve always seen the Potter books as mystery/adventure stories. From who is trying to steal the Philosopher’s Stone to where did Voldemort hide the Horcruxes, they are primarily puzzle stories. I believe that’s why blokes (like me) enjoy them.

I set a lot of my stories in northern England and southern Scotland because I know the area well and that helps my descriptions. Using real places (and often twisting them) is useful. I try to achieve a sense of place and it’s nice to be told I’ve succeeded. My one-shots vary in length from 1500 words to almost 10000. This is one of the longer ones. I did consider splitting this into three chapters (in a way, I did) but it was written for a challenge deadline so it had to be submitted as a one-shot.

I sometimes think that the House labels are restricting. In one of my other stories Luna tells Ron “You want become an Auror. Why? Are you doing it because you are brave, or cunning, or clever, or simply hard-working? It’s easy to add the House-label afterwards.”

All of my stories take place at points along the same future timeline, I mention that because of Aloysius J Webb (who is regarded by some of his colleagues as over-sensitive). I have several original characters who reappear in my stories, Al Webb is one of them (he gets a chapter of “Tales of the Battle” to himself – as does Hannah).

Hannah’s dad sprang from the hills where I put the family. The minute I decided to put them in the Pennine hills then the hardworking Hufflepuff became a hill farmer. Up at dawn, in bed at dusk, taking care of his beasts.

Al Webb’s summary of events is remarkably accurate and there are a few bits in this story which tie in to one of my others. The sequel to this is being planned, and it will almost certainy be a Hannah/Neville story.

If you’re interested Hannah appears in “Fred and George’s Busy Day”, “Tales of the Battle” and “Mistletoe Kisses”. If you’re interested in reading about a Slytherin original character then I’d be interested to hear what you think about “Summer of ’97, which is set on the eastern side if these same hills.

Thanks.

-N-

I thought that the story was very sweet and honest. I can’t help but notice how neat the writing is. Everything was in perfect order, in a sequence that isn’t confusing to the reader.

What I like most in your story was how you built it up. It started with a place that they eventually came at the end for different reasons. They came to the Shell Cottage, a place where they could get a “chance to express that love.” It’s just so… honest. I love how you somehow described their lust for each other as the next step for their relationship. I find it really sweet that the basis for the relationship of Ron and Hermione was founded on innocence. That it wasn’t lust, or appearance that came first; it was the person itself. I absolutely loved that. I think you portrayed their romance really well. You didn’t exaggerate or underestimate their chemistry – you made it seem factual. Like it was just the way it is. That it was always like that, and will always be. I’m a sucker for those kinds of stories.

Another thing I found interesting – the story wasn’t filled with as much fluff as I thought it would be. Actually, there wasn’t much fluff until Fleur began talking about true love. I thought that maybe it was a bit naïve of her to think that, but I don’t really have a basis for that. I just felt that a grown woman who is only in her first year of marriage saying that was, yeah, naïve. But her circumstances are different from the real world, so I could understand. You did explain it that Fleur, who had Veela blood in her body, would find it hard to find someone whom she could her entire life with when it was the youth of her beauty that kept most of the men’s attention. I loved that you plugged that in the story. Two women who cannot be more different had insecurities that brought them together. Hermione thought she was not beautiful while Fleur had thought no one would love her for the person that she was. You addressed each of their insecurities excellently, and countered it with a scene that bonded them together. The whole scene was lovely.

There is one thing that bothered me though. Charlie Weasley saying that he would pursue her, were it not for Ron? I don’t know about that. I mean, I get it that maybe he’s just all words, and he would never actually pursue Hermione, but it’s still a bit wrong. He’s not only going to go after the woman that his own brother loved, but he’s also seven years her senior. Maybe in the Wizarding World, it was acceptable since inbreeding was sort of was (but that was in different times), but I still highly doubt it because even our modern community is skittish with big age gaps.

But besides that, the story was a pleasure to read. Ron is my favourite character in the Potterverse, and you did him justice here. I can still see his temper flaring up (like in that part where Percy had interrupted), but his softness and gentleness towards Hermione was so adorable, and so very much like him. You mentioned that there were still squabbles going between them, but that was how it was and it wouldn’t change how much they love each other. I feel like I’m the one here inserting the fluff. Anyway, it was a very lovely story and I hope you keep writing more. :-)


-Dinny

Author's Response: Thanks for such a thoughtful review! I really appreciate it. I see what you mean about the Charlie thing, but I meant it more as brothers joking around and teasing their little brother. Charlie was just basically saying, "Hey, little Hermione has grown up to be quite a babe! When is Ron going to realize he's crazy about her?" As Fleur said, he wouldn't have actually done anything about it. Thanks again for reading and sharing your wonderful feedback!

Gosh, this was funny.

Albus is still vague for me after reading the chapter. I’m not quite sure what to think of him. I didn’t like how his first interaction in the story ended up with him being a prejudice kid. His quip about the annoyed girl disturbed me. I don’t remember how it was being eleven, but are we really that heavily influenced by the environment that we’d already use stereotypes? That just reminded me of Draco. . . case closed then. I assume that Albus acted like that because of the lack of Slytherin appreciation in his home, which I found a bit sad because I’d think that his parents would grow out of that. I just found Albus’s remark to be a bit stingy. Anyway, I hope to see more of his character in the later chapters. It is only the first one, after all.

To be honest, I can’t really say much about any other character due to the lack of their presence coloring the chapter. It was mostly about the Sorting. Not to say it was bad, you wrote it nicely. I especially loved the part where Scorpius repeatedly bashed the hat back on his head. He was actually afraid he got into Gryffindor! I was surprised as well; I mean, how can a Gryffindor be born into a family completely full of Slytherins? It seems highly unlikely, but not impossible. I’m interested in what you’ll characterize Scorpius as, and how you’ll justify him as a Gryffindor.

I think you should add more thoughts of Albus’s parents/family. When he thought over his surprise on a Malfoy being sorted into Gryffindor, it was the best place to put in a ‘wait till I tell Uncle Ron about this!’ or something of the like. I was also disappointed in Scorpius as Rowan earlier described an incident wherein she was called a Mudblood by ‘blond haired git.’ You’re setting up lots of situation which I would love to read your explanation in.

I laughed all the way. I enjoyed reading this, and I hope you continue to write! I hope the plot twist comes up in the next chapters. Good luck! :-)

Author's Response: I am so glad that you noticed all of these things! Okay, I think that the most important things you pointed out were Albus and Scorpius's prejudices. At first I seriously considered whether I wanted to do that, but then I thought, "Hey, why don't I do this and have this happen?" This will reappear in the story, so read on. Also, you said that you thought that Albus's parents would have grown out of their anti-Slytherin mode? Well, Harry and Ginny have, but I think that growing up with tales of Voldemort an the Death Eaters, Albus might have a few grudges--I mean, Albus grew up in a completely different way than his father did, and he also has a certain Ronald Weasley as an uncle :P It is unusual for Slytherin family's to produce a Gryffindor, but look at Sirius Black! Scorpius's character will be similar to that of Sirius in later installments, I think. Rowan Greenhill (the annoyed girl) is a highly interesting character to me. I can't decide whether I like her or not yet myself, but I do have plans for her and Albus's rivalry. Finally, you said that you didn't get a lot of character insight. I will work on that. :) Thank you for your comments! :) Glad you enjoyed it.

Hey Gina, I’ll try not to gush and write a coherent review.

At first, I was really discouraged by the first person. I guess I’m not really into biasness, but I can live with it. I’ve read tons of other first person stories, so I really don’t know why I still don’t like it at first glance. You made me forget it though. I forgot all about how it was written in first person and how I disliked it a lot. You made love a lot of things in the story, too.

Your Lily has got to be one of my favorites. There’s a number of Marauder-era fics that have a Lily that come quite close to being a Hermione. But yours just have a distinct one. Your Lily is this ambitious person, confident in almost every aspect, and perfectly imperfect. The very first thing I loved about Lily was when she mentioned her extreme dislike of Herbology. I think it’s because this is the first time I’ve read anything of Lily like that. I remembered something of Hermione though, when she mentioned the reasoned why. I fully agree that Lily would be the type that liked organized, clean-cut things, and that Herbology, being understandably messy and at times, unpredictable, would come up high on her No List.

I loved her kindness. It was written in perfect order and moderation. You didn’t give write too much of it in one scene, or less in another. I think her kindness to James was something important in the story because it really gave off her thoughts about him. There was something to it that actually said about her reactions to him. Like in one scene where she was surprised she was actually learning something new about James, then in another when she spit out the dirigible plum in suspicion. I hope you get what I’m saying, because I can’t explain it any better than what I just said.

James, oh James. You wrote him perfectly, you did. He was so sweet—actually the whole story was so sweet I thought I was going to get another tummy ache. I loved his impromptu compliments and how it came so easily into the story. It flowed really well with everything. When there were parts that Lily doesn’t seem to know what to do, the awkwardness was even sweeter. James was so. . . youthful. He’d make the funniest things out of nothing and just… he felt so alive. Real. Another thing, I loved how he liked Herbology. I mean, I’m so used (and tired) to reading about his Transfiguration and Quidditch skills, and usually, those were the main points of the story. It’s just very different, your story. I like different.

On the whole, the story is just oozing out sweetness. It isn’t really fluffy, just sweet. Yeah, I’ve probably said the word sweet more times than my own name in this story, but that’s what really endeared me to it. What I liked best though, was how their growing affection for each other was both subtle and painfully obvious. You really wrote this carefully and neatly, and with a growing climax fed in small doses. Lily and James worked so well together here that I’m rather convinced they’re perfect for each other. Sadly, that conviction is temporary and will soon be eliminated with angsty fics that come up in my mind in the boring realm of insomnia.

I left it out for last: the story is hilarious. It’s genuinely comedic, and I loved it. As always, great job, Gina. It’s always a wonderful pleasure to read and review your stories. Keep on writing! :-)

Author's Response: SQUEE! Thank you so much for the lovely review, Dinny! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. It was fun to write. I don't even know how it came to me, although I had to do some research into Herbology, that's for sure. I'm glad you liked that and James liking it/Lily disliking it worked. Oh, and I understand about first person, sometimes it can be annoying, lol. Sweet but not fluffy, hee hee. And funny - yay! I'm glad you found it funny, because it is a light-hearted Halloween fic after all. Thank you again for the review, it made my day! ~Gina :)

Wow, Alex. This story is absolutely gorgeous and riveting—completely unique and pleasantly so. It wasn’t till after I read the whole thing that I realized it was in the first person. I didn’t even flinch! Amazing feat; I usually complain about it, but then finish it.

When it was first mentioned that Vivien was an abused girlfriend, I had this huge frown that sagged my whole face. Not that I’m not into stories that involve sensitive topics, but because this just brings back the fact that these things actually do happen to young girls and it upsets me. If it were any other author, I would have less faith that this would be treated carefully, but thankfully, not only do you tread most carefully into these kinds of things, but I’m also a fan of your writing.

Vivien is an amazing character. I really liked how she has two fathers (it wasn’t till later that I put the pieces together—then I remembered a thread you set up back at the forums for Vivien), and she acted as if it was the most natural thing in the world. There weren’t any quips concerning her parents’ sexuality and the opinions of the people have of it. It truly magnified a trait of Vivien’s that comes full circle at the end: strength. She didn’t care if it wasn’t needed to. It’s such a rare thing to see to be so utterly confident, even in books. But then, she later describes that it was because of the lack of self-confidence that she becomes a victim of abuse. It was perplexing, to say the least.

Then suddenly, a wild card appears and brings on something outside of her. Augustus is adorable. He’s a quiet boy with a strong, determined personality. I loved his silent battle to win over Vivien, and how he is both simplistic and still pack a barrel of emotions out of Vivien with short words. I also loved that despite his family background (his mother’s extremely bad habit of cheating), he believed the best of their relationship. It was very nicely done, how Vivien realizes her feelings for him and what it made her do. It seems as though Augustus’s pure love for her made up for a good, clean conscience.

I was really worried that Vivien wouldn’t come out of the bad relationships, and I felt equally frustrated as she was when she said she didn’t want to be one of those women that get stuck into a vicious cycle. I had my fingers mentally crossed (my hands were busy feeding me food) that she would find the strength to just dump the jerk and move on, preferably out of the abusive boyfriends category. I don’t know if she is physically beautiful or not, but the way you wrote it, it seemed as if she weren’t at all, and because of that knowledge, she was abused by it. A bloke found out she wouldn’t complain when he hit her, so he nets her with empty incentives.

However, when Augustus quietly coaxes her step by step out of the net, she finds she can actually get out of it. She did it with a bang. I loved their dynamics. I love how Augustus was completely calm and controlled and that was what Vivien needed. I love how Vivien was this strong, affectionate girl, faithful to her feelings and that was what Augustus needed. Another thing I wanted to add was Vivien’s voice. I really liked the tone of the whole story—it was entirely her and no other.

Something of a back thought, but I liked how you characterized Russell. I wasn’t sure if he was lying or not when he said he wouldn’t be like Darren and would never hit Vivien again. He was dancing between insane and bipolar. I honestly don’t know what to make of him, only that he’s a first class sadistic jerk. But I thought you explained him well enough that it really doesn’t leave any holes in plot.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story, Alex. It was a great read. But I thought you were a literature major, not a psychology one? Anyway, I know you’ll be writing more, so good luck, and thanks for sharing this story! :-)

Author's Response: Dinny thank you so much for your lovely review! I'm so pleased you enjoyed this story-in spite of it being in the first person :p I don't really understand people's aversion to the first person- I know it can be very self-centred/ badly done but that's the same for all stories- however I'm pleased you enjoyed Viv's narration :)

I'm so pleased you found Viv interesting. I think her--well not relative, but the Viv she's named after is a more interesting, but very different, character. That'll be the person you remember me setting up an OC thread for- though she changed quite alot between setting up that thread and me writing her story :) She is confident in her family, and the love her fathers have for her, but not as a person in her own right, if that makes sense. And she felt she needed a boyfriend to be validated in that way- does that make sense?

Hehe Augustus is rather adorable. His namesake is far less appealing, I assure you, if you ever wish to read my earlier stories--I'm glad you thought he had an impact on Viv with actually only a few conversations. His mother is a very nasty piece of work, though she does improve--

I think Viv is quite pretty-but she doesn't think she is, and this matters to her more than she likes to let on. And this is what first Darren and then Russell rely upon in some way--I'm pleased this was very much Viv's voice and no others- I try to wwork hard on making my first person narrators sound very different :) Russell--well, I didn't give him much thought, other than he's not a very nice guy who thinks its okay to have a rather possessive/ angry attitude to his girlfriend. And first class sadistic jerk about covers it.

I'm so pleased you enjoyed this story, and left such a lovely review for it! And, ha, I often think English Lit is mostly psychology but without the science, lol. Thanks again :) Alex