Ah, even though she's not one of the bad ones, Tracey is a true blue (er, green, I guess) Slytherin, because she managed to make a potions accident and a Muggle textbook turn her into a gazillionaire. Cunning and ingenuity were Salazar Slytherin's strengths and his love, which Tracey has proven to have in spades, so brilliant for her!

I really like how you made her friends with Theo, who I thought was not a bad guy, just a guy in a bad situation. I'm also really glad nothing bad happened to her family and she could finally get over her hangups about Roger and move on with her life.

In essence, her dislike of her brother ended up giving her everything she ever wanted, because that=her Slytherin sorting=the potions accident=finding out about the attack on the cobbler=her reading that chem book=Tracey making diamonds from almost nothing. Wow, that's a long equasion, lol.

Well, in closing, I think this was a very good story, and you brought life to a background character about whom most would not have given a second thought, and you did so brilliantly. Thanks for writing, and I hope you've got more stories cooking in your head.

~Jess

Author's Response: Thank you for all your support throughout this story, Jess. Tracey knows where her real friends are, she has got over Roger and she's going to be rich - so I hope you think that's a happy ending. ~ I didn't think it was realistic to turn her into a saint, so she's still selfish, but she has chosen not to be evil. Same for Theo, of course - his coldness and selfishness were caused by his father's bad example, but now he's chosen to get over it and will be morally normal. ~ I think Tracey might have worked out the diamond formula even if she hadn't been propelled by her resentment of Roger and the influence of her Slytherin friends, but I've no idea HOW it would have happened. Her story would have been altogether different. Did you notice the only chapter in the story that did NOT contain the word "diamond"? That's a clue to how Tracey's mind was working all along! ~ I did wonder whether it was worth publishing this story, given that Tracey is neither a major HP character nor very admirable. Thank you for letting me know that it was the right thing to do. Best wishes, GhV

Hmmm, I'm worried for Tracey, because Smith has always been a shady git, and if he hurts her, I'll kick him in his e-giblets!

Okay, enough of that, lol. How like Blaise and Draco to bet with people's feelings. I'm just glad that she found another date so it didn't make her look pathetic or anything. I may be reverting to my prior ill feelings toward Roger, but in that sense, I am mostly at your mercy!

~Jess

Author's Response: Dear Jess, ~ Save your kicks; there's nothing more about Z Smith because he is definitely the wrong man for Tracey! ~ The full story of Draco and Blaise's bet is told in "Turning the Corner", which was the first HP novella I ever wrote. You can read there how many girls accepted Blaise's offer, and who finally won the Galleons. ~ Everything is against Tracey at this point: Roger, her fellow Slytherins and her own immaturity. So hold on for a steep slide down the moral precipice while we ask the all-important question: Can Tracey be redeemed? ~ Thanks for your support. Tracey will thank you if she grows up. Best wishes, GhV

Ah, I love how you portray Tom Riddle in this light. The way you show his inner doubts about himself and his distaste for all things emotional is quite telling of a character that committed the ultimate acts of evil. The last line was so poignant to that effect.

In terms of grammar, etc (since this is a homework assignment):

"rawing out strength and praying on weakness" It should be 'preying'

"gifted with magical gifts beyond contemplation" You may want to change one of the uses of 'gift'.

I loved your intermittent use of second person. It made it seem, at least to me, that Tom was talking about himself, but he refused to openly contemplate love in a manner so personal as the first person. I don't know if you were going for that, but I got a little of that from it.

All in all, excellence abounds and it's definitely on par with your regular work, and I loved reading more about the ever-fascinating Tom Riddle.

~Jess

PS-I loved the latent reference to Keeds, btw. :D

Author's Response: Can't have Tom without Keeds ;-)

This is a delightful story. I always pictured Narcissa suffering in silent angst during Voldemort's extended stay in their home, as well as her being forced to conform to the carnal advances of those above her in the Dark Lord's favor.

I like how Lucius is caring about his wife, yet he still maintained his sense of being a PC Death Eater. It realizes my vision of him caring, just not enough to stop the madness before it started.

All in all, I think this is a fantastic imagery-based story, one I'll probably read again in the future.

~Jess

PS-Just a small nitpick, because I'm just like that: 'Warming Charm' should be capitalized, I believe.

Author's Response: Hi Jess. Thank you for the review and I'm glad you enjoyed it because I've never written about the Malfoys as a couple - and never sympathetically. I shall look into Warming Charm because I'm not sure myself if it's a real spell. ~Carole~

Hmm, I am curious to whether we will be privy at some point of the backstory between Draco and Hermione. Do I think Draco meant any of those 'I love you's, no, but I do believe that Hermione thought they were sincere.

So far, great suspense going on here, and your language lends itself greatly to that. I'm looking forward to the next chapter, and I think there may be additional Hr/D stories read my me, for I believe you changed my mind about the ship.

~Jess

Ooh, I heart D/A + Draco. It's like a keg of good beer that someone gives to you; you can't wait to tap it!

The imagery is so...real! It's like following Draco throughout the worst part of his life as we know it. I'm sure not only he amongst the Malfoys has considered hurling themselves off a cliff after the battle was lost. Not to mention, it's probably the only way to erase the life debt he owes to Harry, which I'm sure rankled to no end.

Your diction is very poignant and carefully chosen, and it shows. Ari is a lucky girl to get such a gift. :D

Great work and happy writing!

~Jess

PS-Just noticed this, thought I'd point it out. I'm assuming it's supposed to be 'sand and', but not quite sure.

"As you push yourself up, the ground seems to be covered with and and stones"

Tough challenge indeed! I'm glad to see you had the good sense not to write a bloody novel, like I did.

As I know the bastard nature of these prompts, let me say that this is very well thought out - much more so than most of the rest, I'm sure. Finding a cure for lycanthropy is awesome, of course, but the journey itself was bitchin'. :D

I really loved how Teddy talked to him mum's picture and the flashbacks that showed why Lily was in such dire straits. It flowed pretty good (especially for a Gauntlet piece, hehe), and I really enjoyed reading it. 

I hope one of us wins. Your story is pretty friggin good. :)

Jess

Though I've already read this (a few times, actually), I thought I should leave a review, just as a congratulatory present, as well as a thank you gift for teaching me the finer points of the 'Track Changes' function.

I really liked your premise for the story, though it would have been awesome times twelve if I knew how Bill met/got in contact with Beatriz in the first place, but I'm sure you'll share. :)

One of the parts that I enjoyed the most was the attack of Bill's conscience, which was a gigantic factor in this story. Without it, none of it would have ever happened. Not only would his parents still feel rotten about not being able to give him the gift of a trip to Brasil, he would have never made amends with his former penpal/first crush, which would have, IMO, thrown him out of character.

I always saw Bill as edgy, but a bit of all right. He cares deeply for his family, but just like every kid his age when he got his last letter from Beatriz, he says/does stupid and insensitive things. Those of us who love our characters tend to (and wrongly so) skip those traits in favor of more admirable ones, but I love that you didn't.

Yay for Portuguese being so similar to Spanish! I could read through all the Portuguese sequences without missing a beat, and not just because I already knew what they said, lol. I like her mama a lot, especially her derision at Beatriz cursing Bill.

Well, that's all for now, and I should SO not still be awake. So consider this my official *squee*, and I look forward to your next piece.

Luv ya bunches, and as always, happy writing!

~Jess

Author's Response: Lol to the Track Changes part.



Yes, ahem, about how Bill and Beatriz met - I have no effing clue as of now. I didn't think much of it because it really wasn't important to my one-shot, but I knew I'd have to deal with it later on.



Bill seemed too perfect for me (though I am not pointing fingers at Rowling), but that incident always nagged me. How do you think a teenager would receive an incident like that? I've been one, and shortage of money can be a bit daunting when you're of any age, but somehow it cuts you deeper when you're a teenager. So, yes, that was why I chose that topic over others for the final task.



Apart from that, Bill seemed to understand Ron so well. Something had to be there. Plus, how could I end it without him making up with Beatriz? hehe.



I have to thank you again for the Portuguese, though. I mean, if you hadn't noticed that mishap with BabelFish, I'd have had been murdered by a real Portuguese.



Love ya lots!



Natalie.

I've been meaning to read this for a while, but with my current logjam of things I have yet to write, it sort of slipped by the wayside.

Wow! I mean, this is a very intense story. The themes and concepts are new and terrible (not the bad kind, well, yeah, the bad kind... >.> you know what I mean), but they're not implausible. People do hideous things to one another without magic; imagine what they can do with the assistance of magic. The possibilities are startling.

I have to admit that it's not easy to swallow Goyle doing that at first. Sure, he has just been traumatized and will probably go to prison for what he did while at Hogwarts, but it was marked in the Fiendfyre scene that it was Crabbe who was the cruel and violent one. Personally, I always thought that Crabbe and Goyle were a 'thing', so the death of his best 'friend' could send him over the edge. What saved it for me was him describing the Fiendfyre eating at his flesh. That he believed her responsible, even though it was his own dumbass friend that cast the curse, could definitely drive him to violate her magically and physically.

I read all the other reviews before I read the story, and I don't see how it could seem at all implausible that she could bash him over the head and kill him in a primal way. Obviously, whoever thinks that it's not possible has never been attacked by anyone before. It's not fun, and it's terrifying. Would I kill someone with a rock like she did in that situation? Fuck yeah, I would. No hesitation. And profanity for an exclamation point!

The scene with Draco was interesting. At this point, I'm sure that Draco is not half the entitled bastard that he was pre-HBP. I sort of picture him rolling up his sleeve to expose his Dark Mark and say something like, "You don't believe I would do anything for my family? This is what I'll do for family!" I suppose I drink the Reformed!Draco kool-aid, but if he was really that desperate to not go to prison (and face it, who wouldn't be?), I do see him crossing one last line to get what he wants. Yet again, I had questions at first, but you answered them further in the story. Well done.

And the last part is probably the best. Hermione was so happy with herself in that split second, but it hit her that she had just done something terrible and covered it up by doing something nearly as reprehensible. And it all had happened in a few minutes. It's a trap (title reference...yeah!) into which anyone could fall, and Hermione is deliciously imperfect. I don't begrudge her at all what she did, as I probably would have killed Goyle, burnt the body, toasted marshmallows over the flames and pissed on the ashes. But she's of a different moral ilk than me, so her guilt and shame was extraordinarily fitting. She was supposed to be one of the good guys, but...awesome!

Great read, and shame on me for not reading it sooner! Take care and happy writing,

Jess

Er, I don't know how I never noticed this story in the queue when it came out, considering I normally watch for Harmony like a hawk.

Lyss, this was lovely. You managed to take canon events and give them a slight, what-if-this-happened-instead push, thus creating a little pocket of AU inside of established events. It's a lovely idea, one which I would have adored, had it happened in the series, but it was nice to see such a neat little snippet of what might have been. 

I don't hide the fact that second person really isn't my thing, mainly because of the overload of the word 'you', just as the word 'I' drives me nuts about first person, butyou do well with it. Most novice 2nd person writers will begin every.damned.sentence. with 'you', but you thankfully keep it fresh and enticing. The focus is on the story, not the pronouns. Thank you for that. :)

All in all, this was a wonderful drabble-come-one-shot. I'm glad I decided to stalk the SBBCer story thread, because that led me to this story. :D

Take care and happy writing,

~Jess