Hey Natalie,

First of all, I am in love with the premise of your story. I really like the idea of telling each chapter through one of the next-gen character’s point of view in order to get a picture of what a day in the life is like. One of the things I like most about next-gen stories is seeing how each author portrays the characters differently, and this story looks like it will be a wonderful character study, in part (but also intriguing plot-wise). You did a great job crafting the characters. In some ways, they are like their parents, but they are also completely unique individuals and you expressed that very nicely.

Hugo’s chapter was incredibly well done. Your use of present tense is subtle and flows nicely throughout the story. This is one of the things that struck me most while reading this story — it read so easily. The tone of Hugo’s chapter is much different from Lucy’s, and I think that shows great talent as a writer for you to be able to jump first-person personalities so fluidly in the story. Hugo sounds very much like a teenage boy, and it was really refreshing to read that.

The confession in this chapter was well-done. It wasn’t necessarily surprising (but maybe that’s just because I’ve read a few next-gen slash stories and expected one of the characters in this fiction to be gay), but that fact didn’t take away from the emotion of the moment. I think it was very realistic in how Lily knew and was pressuring her brother to come out, because in my experience siblings can very rarely hide things from one another. It also gave us a good look at Hugo and Lily’s relationship as brother and sister.

I liked how Hugo chose to tell his mother, and keep it a secret from his father. I think it follows the very rigidly opinionated Ron that we know from the books, and somehow I don’t think he would be able to put his own emotions aside in this situation and be empathetic towards his son. I thought this detail was great in showing how you’ve kept the canon characters — what little we see of them, anyway — in character. It’s details like this that I feel really add to the oomph of your story.

On a side note, I enjoyed the reference in this chapter to your one-shot Cut and I’m looking forward to reading Dominique’s chapter (if it appears).

Xx Ariana

Author's Response: Hey Ariana!

Carole,

I loved this. I am so jealous of your ability to seamlessly slip into one day in the life of the Marauders and write it so thoroughly and convincingly.

Your "not" mentioning Mary Macdonald made me smile, and I thought you did a great job incorporating the prompts subtly so it didn't feel as though you were constructing a story around the prompts, but rather that the words just happened to be in this lovely story you were telling :).

I liked the bit with Regulus and Barty--it's such a unique rare pair that I would never have thought of. I'm happy that James didn't plan on spreading the news to Sirius. I think you really emphasized his honorable side here, the side of James that Dumbledore saw Head-Boy potential in.

Gorgeous writing here, Carole. The only thing I could have asked for was a bit of Martha Macdonald and Sirius, but the story was really more about James and Lily (loved The Scene, by the way) and I thoroughly enjoyed it :)

xx Ariana

Author's Response: Thank you very much, Ariana. I wasn't sure how far to go with The Scene, but decided to veer on the side of subtlety, so I'm pleased it worked. Barty/Regulus just sort of evolved as I wrote the story ... not sure why, but I may write another story about them.

Ah, Martha/Sirius, well, I'm not sure what to say about them at the moment. I didn't want to make this too compliant with Lions and because I haven't quite worked out the mechanics of the seventh year.

Thanks for the review. ~Carole~

Hey there,

I really enjoyed reading your snippet into the life of Tom Riddle. It was a bit morbid, but then again, it was in the Dark/Angsty category and written about a future psycho-killer, so I didn’t expect it to be any less so. Morbid for this story was, I think, one of its numerous strong points.

What really stood out for me was your raw portrayal of Tom Riddle. It was so incredibly in-character for the boy we only see glimpses of in the books. I liked how you made sure to point out that solitude was a choice for him, based on his inability to understand the minds of other children, not because he himself felt alienated. There is an air to him, present especially in the opening paragraphs, which belies that he feels a certain amount of superiority over the other children. He does not see them as his equals, but as inferiors, and he doesn’t even attempt to understand them or conjure any amount of empathy for them. Tom’s thinking is so logical yet so unnatural because he is supposed to be a child and not think so rationally. I think this part of the story illustrated that especially well: He hated apples, and the fight could have been avoided if he had just given his share to Billy, but the latter was a glutton, and the apple – his. He was cool and calculated when he took revenge; it wasn’t something done in a fit of rage and passion. I think this in particular really hinted at the individual he was to become: someone who was methodical and carefully planned everything out, someone who felt a constant hatred towards the Muggles that never ceased.

Your writing style was outstanding — it captured the feel and mindset of a merciless-killer-in-the-making perfectly. I liked how you used more sophisticated words to describe, with disdain, the things that Tom considered ‘mundane’ or ‘childish.’ It really emphasized the fact that he viewed himself as so much better than everyone else, so above the rest of the children, that he made degrading comments about the things they enjoyed or the way they acted. But what I enjoyed most about your writing is that it wasn’t completely made up of technical, detached words that fit Tom’s way of thinking; you managed to conjure wonderful pictures and imagery through your words that were just so beautiful. Perhaps my favorite line in the story is: Insomnia cradled him at times, trapping him in endless nights that he spent resenting every nook and corner of his cold and cheerless room. Your personification was so subtly and smoothly done, and it didn’t feel over-dramatized at all. It was really quite lovely to read.

The main scene in this story — the hanging of the rabbit — was morbid and dark. But as I said earlier, I don’t think this is a problem at all. In fact, I might have been disappointed if it was any less so, because through this scene you were able to show absolutely flawless characterization of Tom Riddle. He is a morbid person, and I’m glad you didn’t downplay that scene because it wouldn’t have illustrated the core of the person that he was so clearly. He hung the rabbit for one sole reason: revenge. His mind never once faltered in its conviction, or felt a twinge of regret afterwards. He had a purpose, he had an idea, and he carried it out. In fact, at the end, he seems almost proud of what he’s done — as though it’s some sort of show for him and he’s just displayed the finale. It was perfect. And in a way, this was the same thing he had done to all of his victims (though on a much larger scale). He took what he wanted from them, or took away what they most wanted, to gain personal satisfaction.

It also seemed as though he was gaining the energy or ‘power,’ for lack of a better word, to do magic through anger and hatred, such as when he is trying to summon up the feelings of pain that Billy inflicted on him before the hanging. This was in such a sharp contrast to Harry’s first experiences with magic. It had come by accident, he hadn’t wanted these terrible things to happen to Dudley or the others that bullied him. It had been uncontrolled magic, in other words. Tom’s was perfectly tuned, and he was able to summon it at such a young age. It really highlights the amount of power he must have possessed, even then.

Great writing here, Natalie! It was a really intriguing read.

xx Ariana

Author's Response: Five reviews, and this is the fourth time the word "morbid" has been used. Mission accomplished! ;)

It’s a shame that poetry seems to get so few reviews, because I thought this poem was absolutely magnificent. I’ll admit I don’t read a lot of poetry on the boards, but I’m so glad I chose to read this one. You did a wonderful job of weaving the lyrics between the lines of the poem, giving the piece a meaning of its own.

I love the opening lines you used for the poem. The reference to the moon in the sky was a good allusion to the man being Remus. I also liked your description of the soft starlight, firstly because I thought that sounded beautiful, but also because it really helps to set up the scene and the mood for the rest of the poem. You portray a solemn, yet gentle tone throughout this stanza, and its effect is lovely. Reading the first few lines is almost like the night itself: quiet and mellow, but there is a sense of melancholy to this that really presents a wonderful stage for the next few stanzas. The only thing that struck me as I read this stanza was your reference to Tonks as a “girl”, however, I can see how that word usage might also allude to the couple being Remus and Tonks (in reference to the age difference), or perhaps showing Remus’s perception of her, maybe in an emphasis of how he views her as innocent (in comparison to how he views himself as a werewolf). This might just be me, reading too much into it, but what I meant to get across was that I can understand the “girl” word choice; it just struck me as odd reading it for a second time but it in no way takes away from the poem.

What I admire so much about this poem is the little descriptions you add that make the imagery so realistic it is almost palpable. I especially noticed this in the lines “ A tender smile/ A whispered caress”. To me, these lines mean so much more with words such as “tender” or “whispered”. Reading this, I can picture Remus brushing a stray lock of hair from his wife’s face, staring at her lovingly as he prepares to leave her. I feel as though the simple words you used here imply so many more words that maybe you didn’t physically write, but it’s as though the reader can sense them being there. The next two lines in this stanza eliminate any doubt as to which couple you refer to. They also begin to draw out the more sad tone of the poem, the realization that the happiness of this couple is about to end, at least for a while. I thought the juxtaposition of the sweet, loving gestures and the foreshadowing that “…by the morrow/ She will be weeping” was very well done. It also showed that Remus knew the consequences of what he was doing, but he felt so justified in his actions to leave her, so sure that this was what would be best for Tonks, that he was willing to go through with it anyway. In the last few lines I can almost see Remus’s smile darkening as he turns away, not wanting to be reminded of how much this will hurt her in the morning. It’s another instance where your writing is so beautiful, so tangible, that the scene becomes real. I’ve seen very few stories like this and even fewer poems, so this is very amazing to me.

The second to last stanza contains subtle hints as to Tonks’s pregnancy, and I loved the way you went about doing that. So much of poetry is about “showing, not telling,” as my teachers say, or putting something into words without stating the obvious. I thought it was clever how the words you chose — “seeds,” “sown,” “harvest,” and “reaping” — are all related words themselves, and I liked how in your context they referred to Tonks and Remus’s child. My favorite lines in that stanza were “Their love’s harvest/ Awaits its reaping” because of the word choice, as I stated before, but also because I feel as though it refers to their child being the product of their love, as though if their love was personified it would be their child. The entire stanza just flows so smoothly and gracefully.

The tones evident in the last few lines are heartbreaking. As a reader, I could feel Remus’s yearning to stay with his wife and his child, to live a normal life with them. I thought the reference to Remus’s soul being darkened was very in-character for his feelings and perceptions about himself, how he felt as though he was less of a person because he was a werewolf. I also thought the ‘darkened soul’ was a good indicator of how he felt guilt over this situation, as though the pregnancy was his fault entirely. This last stanza makes Remus a very sympathetic character, and I thought that was brilliantly done. In the seventh book, his decision comes across as hurtful, and maybe a little selfish, at least from Harry’s eyes. I think because we don’t get to see inside of Remus’s mind, it is difficult to sympathize with him. This is definitely not so in your poem, where his feelings and thoughts and wishes become one with the readers, at least for the few moments it takes to read this poem. I thought your writing was absolutely beautiful here, Carole.

To be honest, I think rhyming poems are more difficult to write because I feel myself molding the poem to fit the words instead of vice versa. But when I read your poem, I almost didn’t notice a rhyming scheme; the words just seemed to flow together naturally and with ease. Rhyming the last word of every stanza was subtle, yet upon re-reading I think that’s where the soft, steady rhythm of the poem comes from. It makes the word “beseeching,” which is an imperfect rhyme compared to the rest, stand out and really emphasize the last line of the poem with a stern tone of finality. It really pronounces Remus’s determined resignation to leave definitely.

Ooh, I feel like there was something important I wanted to add, but I can’t think of it just yet, so I will end this review before it gets out of hand. Reading this poem felt like opening a gift: you can read it quickly, or savor each line, but the end result remains the same. I think I use the word ‘beautiful’ too often, but it describes this poem so much better than words like ‘handsome’ or ‘good-looking’, which is what my thesaurus tells me to use. I absolutely loved this poem, Carole, and I have written a note on my computer to remember this when QSQs come around.

xx Ariana

Author's Response: Wow. I'm really not sure how to respond to that. Um ... yeah. ha ha - I'm so coherent.

I do take your point totally about the use of the word 'girl'; the trouble is that I can't see the word 'woman' or 'lady' having the same effect at all. It was the word I dithered over the most, basically because the connotations of that word. Clearly Tonks at the age of 23 and pregnant is not in the true sense of the word 'a girl', but I think she's still 'girlish'. The Tonks in my mind is a strange mix between mature Auror, joking friend, and innocent-in-love. I also imagine her looking far younger and less careworn when she's asleep. Plus, as you pointed out, Remus is older than her and I do think the age gap was always something that bothered him.

Thank you for the review. Oh, yes, and QSQ nominations .... you haven't been forgotten ,,,

Oh god that was so sad. I love your writing here, it was absolutely brilliant and I think adding the first little bit made it so much more poignant.

I still don't know how you managed to pull off writing Alice in part two but it was brilliantly done. I think if anyone else tried to enter the mind of a mad-woman through writing it would have turned out either over-played or too weak, but yours was so beautiful and poetically written. I didn't find it confusing at all.

xx Ariana

Author's Response: Ariana!

Ugh, Pansy is absolutely creepy. Or maybe 'was' is a better word. I don't think that really sunk in for me until this chapter. Especially since she kept Astoria in a crate and messed up her hair…sorry, I'm just picturing Glenn Close-type person from Fatal Attraction.

I like the interaction and romance between Astoria and Draco. You write them so well, and they remind me a bit of Narcissa and Lucius in that you wouldn't think they were marrying based on love by a first glance -- but it turns out they are.

I'm also starting to like the tiny bits and hints of Daphne/Oliver that's going on…maybe? You've created such a complex, intriguing character with Daphne and it's made this story that much more gripping.

Okay, I swear my next review will be better. But as there's only one more chapter I can hardly just sit here and type, can I? ;)

xx Ariana

Author's Response: I forgot to mention in the review for chapter 3 that I basically thought up the title for this story before anything else. So once I thought of Zeitgeist, I needed a Zeitgeist girl and one who was single and unhampered by the past. That was why I picked Astoria, then Draco followed suit.

That's by-the-by but sometimes I like explaining my thought process. I think Pansy chopped the hair because she was a bitch and hated Astoria for actually being the one Draco loved. There was an element of Glenn Close in her, but I doubt she really wanted Draco, just wanted to mess things up for him.

Thanks again ~Carole~

So, as I've finally finished my own mystery fic I now have time to read the ones I've bookmarked :). It's late so this won't be a SPEW-worthy review, but it's a very sincere review nonetheless.

I thought this opening chapter was wonderful. It encompasses everything about your writing that makes your stories so addictive -- jumping right into the plot, bringing back characters and scenarios from your other fics, gorgeous characterization and careful handling of the nature of the mystery.

I love Parvati/Dean/Seamus from the other story you wrote about them, and it's so interesting to see their interactions with the business they've set up together. I like how Dean and Seamus are still able to be close friends whilst it's come down to Parvati to keep them in line. And the disappearance of Blaise is just…. EEP! I hope Lavender appears in the fic; you've really made me love them as a couple.

Off to read the next chapter now.

xx Ariana

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad you like Lavender and Blaise because they do feature rather heavily in this story as I can't seem to leave them alone. Thank you for reading. This story was fun to write - just not sure it's mysterious enough -LOL. ~Carole~

Minna,

What I love most about this poem is that it reads like a story. The beginning is both carefree and portentous, as readers realize that the ending is an unhappy one for the Founders. It tells a tragic story, but this poem doesn’t use superfluous words or glamorous language to dress up the fact. It is simple, yet through each stanza you are able to tell so much. This is probably one of the best poems I have read on the archives.

I don’t read a lot of poetry – but I’m getting better! – so when I do come across a poem like this I am reminded of why I should lurk this category more often. I love the pairing you’ve created here with Helga and Salazar. Occasionally I have seen him paired with Rowena, but I find the way you write this is so much more plausible. I liked how you showed that despite having different means, they really were happy in the beginning. However, Salazar’s fatal faults were subtly aligned throughout the piece, so his betrayal was not completely out of the blue and still fit what his twisted ideals must have been.

The poem’s tone morphing from the almost frivolous happiness in the beginning to the somber tragedy at the end so wonderfully mirrored the progression of the Founders’ fading friendship as they created the school. One of my favorite lines was: Red and green: contrasting hues/Doomed to clash as discord grew. I liked how you provided a physical metaphor to the opposing views of Godric and Salazar and how their fierce support of their personal ideas would undoubtedly lead to the demise of their friendship. It really shows what a time bomb the group’s entire cooperation was – working until one day they had to snap.

I loved the dueling scene between Godric and Salazar. I thought it was extremely realistic, fitting both the time period and the personalities of the two men. It was interesting how Salazar almost triumphed, as at first I thought Godric would be the one to win on his own because of his being the first Gryffindor. But then, a Slytherin’s cunning would have made a bigger long-term impact on the duel, most likely. Anyway, I like how Godric didn’t win completely fairly, embodying an absolute ‘good’ and ‘bad’ side to the fight. You did a great job of showing how Godric Gryffindor, who is so revered by the main characters of canon, was not perfect. Not only did this scene have me reading with bated breath, but I also thought your characterization here was magnificent.

The end was written so potently. I thought you did a great job of showing how it took Helga’s death to make Godric and Rowena face their own flaws as well has how the discord might have been prevented if they had been loyal and able to look past differences, like the Lady Hufflepuff. It was especially clever how you wove in the origin of the first years taking boats across the lake to the castle. It was details like this that really made this poem feel like it could slip seamlessly into canon. I feel as though if Rowling read this poem, she would have few – if any – changes in your portrayal of the Founders and how they began to fall apart.

In the books especially, Hufflepuff is probably the most understated House. It was refreshing to read your poem on Helga Hufflepuff. She really was the most good of the three; she had the best intentions, in any case, of the four of them. I think that the way you’ve written her shows very clearly her acceptance and genuine love towards the school and all the students. The line in the books (and I’m very roughly paraphrasing here) that states ‘Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest’ in one of the Sorting ceremonies really rang true throughout this poem. Helga, in this, wasn’t prejudiced or biased towards a group of students that had certain qualities – she loved them all the same. That is one message that will be ubiquitously taken by readers of this poem, as it is arguably the most important.

Thank you for this poem, I really did enjoy reading it.

Xx Ariana

Author's Response: Hi, Ariana. Thank you for the lovely, long review. -loves Jess for doing poems in SPEW- I will attempt to address *most* of what you've said. xD

Re: no superfluous words or glamorous language for the tragedy. Hmm I'll agree with no superfluous words - I was trying to keep the amount of words down as I was writing it, it just kept *growing* as it was - I'm not so sure about glamorous language. I had a bit of fun using old fashioned/poetic words or wording. (Off the top of my head - "bourn" and "bower" spring to mind). I have way too much fun with that. But the next bit set me blushing. <3

Haha - I have never lurked this cat. Eep! I do most of my poetry-reading in PA, lol. Helga and Salazar were...never a pairing I shipped before this poem (I always vaguely thought Ravenclaw/Slytherin, Gryffindor/Hufflepuff if anything) but honestly it worked with the...theme, I guess...of loyalty that I wanted to slip in here. And then I started liking it because...really, Helga's best and most characteristic trait was her compassion. I'm not sure Rowena would put up with Salazar's nonsense, while Helga would be willing to overlook his flaws and see the best in him. Like you said, though, Godric and Salazar had opposing sets of ideals, and they both had their pride, so eventually something bad was bound to happen.

Honestly, the original reason I had Godric not win outright was that it didn't make sense - logistically - for Salazar to just be beaten because then he'd be under their power. Whereas if he hurt Gryffindor, then faced another battle, he might run. However I do think they were at their very least evenly matched, and the duel might have gone either way. And really I don't think the duel was about good and bad. I don't agree with Salazar's point of view, but neither should Gryffindor have been setting himself at their head, and it was really a clash of their egos in the end. Rowena, by stepping in, showed herself loyal to Gryffindor, and Salazar, outnumbered and out to save his own skin at this point, simply ran. Helga, however, had to choose between her loyalties at this point: friends or lover? She chose Salazar at first, but in the end she realized that was a mistake and that he knew no loyalties except to himself, so she returned to her friends.

Rowena's flaws are not really central to this, because really it's Godric's and Salazar's fight (some things never change), but I did want to underscore how in their pride and arrogance they forgot about bonds of loyalty and friendship, whereas Helga was unwaveringly loyal and trusting. I think here lies the difference between Godric and Salazar: Godric immediately regretted the fight and its consequences, whereas Salazar left a legacy of hatred and intolerance and probably (though who knows, really) never truly regretted the events of that night.

The origin of the first years taking boats is something I've wanted to work into a story for ages, and I'm glad I finally found both a reason for it and an excuse to use it. And aww - that's really sweet, that you think Rowling would approve.

Haha I think I am ridiculously loyal to the fictional founder of my fictional house. This was sort of a love letter to my house, trying to show that in the end it's not the useless good-loser house. I love love love her compassion. The line, by the way, is "Said Hufflepuff, 'I'll take the lot,/And teach them just the same.'" It could be interpreted as "Hufflepuff is the misfit house," but really it's "Hufflepuff is the house of compassion and looking past differences." I'm very very glad you took that message from this poem, and hope that others will, as you predicted.

Thank you so so much for this lovely review, and I'm sorry about the tl;dr response. I really did love writing this poem (even if rhyming sucks while doing it!) and get me talking about Hufflepuff's virtues...lol.

Thanks again!

Minna

Julia,

When I first read this in drabble form during the Three Broomsticks Brawl, I thought it was written to perfection. I was wrong – this is perfection. It’s the tiramisu of wonderful stories. Just…amazing. It’s one of those stories that you can read over and over till the point where you have it almost completely memorized and still not be tired of it. If it were legal on the boards, I would second this QSQ nomination.

I know I’ve commented on this before, but your style and tone of writing is truly magnificent. Each of your stories reads like a poem – and this one is a delicate, gorgeously tragic one at that. I have read a lot of wonderful, mind-blowing stories on this site, but there is something about the way you write that just makes each of your stories … beautiful. You write as though you’re creating a piece of art, and it really does show. The repetition of words is done in just the right places, the breaks with the song lyrics fit seamlessly, and most of all the atmosphere of your story was just fantastic. Each of the words you used just felt right for George in the grief he was going through. And I liked how each of the girls sort of represented the phases of George’s grief and the stages of where he was at in his life. I don’t think I can stress enough how brilliantly this story was written.

One of the best facets of this story is how you let the women tell George’s story; how each ‘relationship’ George had meant something important to the story. His experience with Verity was so complex, because in your story she had once, like Angelina, belonged to Fred. But unlike Angelina, I don’t think George was in love with Verity and it was definitely the deciding factor in the situation. Perhaps my favorite part of the story is when George is in the Muggle club and chooses the girl that looks like Angelina. I loved this line: Don’t speak, he says, because then he can pretend she’s not some random Muggle girl at a London club but someone else entirely. It was one of the lines that really stood out in the original drabble. I’m not sure why I like it so much, only that I know it seems to portray just how messed up (for lack of better words) George has become since Fred died.

I admit, in the drabble my eyes sort of scanned over the part with Daphne – not because it wasn’t interesting, but because I didn’t think it was that important. I love how you’ve fleshed it out here. Her character was so interesting and so well written. This line I thought was amazing: It’s like he chokes on a cry and out comes a burst of laughter rather than the tears he so desperately needs to fall. I just feel like with your writing, you are able to describe exactly what it is you mean rather than settling for a poor substitute of words. It brings so much power and oomph to the fic.

The part with Luna was probably, I think, one of the most compelling, best scenes I have ever read. Maybe even the most compelling, best scene I have ever read. I find her such a difficult character to write, personally, but it didn’t even feel like she was being written, if that makes sense. It felt like she was just herself. I love what she says here and how she is able to complete the circle of advice given to him by his previous relationships. My favorite line of hers was this: “It will never stop so you’ll never forget.” I don’t usually cry when I read, but I did tear up at this. Just absolutely brilliant.

The closing line felt like the perfect ending to the story – and even though it ended happily, it was probably the furthest thing away from being fluffy because of all the tragedy and emotion put into this piece. I think it is definitely one of the gems of this site, and I really want you to know how much I enjoyed this story. It’s tied up there with ‘Waking’ (maybe even surpassing it) as my favorites.

Xx Ariana

Author's Response: Oh my goodness, Ariana. How do I respond to a review like this? Thank you so much! There is a stupid grin on my face right now so I'm glad I'm alone. First of all, thank you for the lovely compliments about my writing. I am quite self-conscious about the fact that I can be over repetitive so I'm glad you enjoyed it and it's always good to hear it didn't bore you. Second, I'm glad you mentioned the night-club section. It's the one part of the drabble that I didn't change. I really liked the imagery of George going a bit crazy in this uninhibited environment. So thanks! Also, I'm glad you enjoyed Daphne. She was certainly interesting to write. I had written a lot more in her section of the drabble but had to cut it out for the word limit (grumblegrumble) and so she was neglected, originally. But it was great getting to flesh her out more in the final fic. I see her as the one to snap George out of his down-ward spiral. And dear dear Luna. She is incredibly hard to write but she can really relate to George. Like Daphne she is honest but in a much less harsh manner. I was worried that she wouldn't come across as Luna-ish so it's nice to hear she convinced you :) Again, thanks so much for such a wonderful review, Ariana. It was a fabulous surprise. - Julia xD

CAROLE!!!

Okay so I’ve promised myself to make this a SPEW-length review because this story deserves this and more, but it’s not going to be one of my SPEW reviews as there’s far too much squee-ing and repetition of punctuation marks :). (Plus little smilies added for emphasis).

I read this when it was just a drabble, and I thought it was wonderful. I loved your rendition of the prompt and how you set the entire story after the Battle when they were both hurting (because that kind of romance makes for the best, doesn’t it? :P) and how they needed each other. Maybe one of my favoUrite lines in this story puts it better than I can: This is not love. This is not comfort. This is lust and need and greed and base desire. Just absolutely gorgeous writing right there, and it also weaves neatly into canon in that Parvati and Harry probably won’t stay together (well...maybe a few affairs along the way because I like the way they’re written here so much :D) but they needed each other in that moment above anything else.

So this was supposed to flow nicely as a review but apparently that’s not going to happen. What I was going to say here was that I thought the drabble was wonderful but after reading the full-length fic, I think this one-shot is amazinglysplendidlyperfect. I love it I love it I love it so so much and it’s some of the most gorgeous writing I’ve ever read. I love how Harry and Parvati fit together perfectly because he feels too much and she feels too little and the heat between them is breath-taking. I love that they have no one to turn to but each other.

Did I mention that I love this so much? Because I doooooooooo!! And okay maybe this isn’t becoming a SPEW-length review but it’s close, right? Because I’m running out of words to describe how beautiful this piece of writing is and how much I love it without being redundant.

And I have to thank you, so very ver much for writing this for me. I’ve never had a story written for me before outside of SPEW and it was so surprising and lovely of you to do this. You were the very first author I read on this site and loved, so it means so much that you would say that. Considering your story updates make my day, this probably made my entire month :).

You are so fabulous.

Xx Ariana

Author's Response: Thank you for the prompt! I was so down about drabbling until I tried this and then had to massacre it for the SBBC - ha ha. Anyway, I was still fretting over it and especially three certain lines which YAY you pulled out as your favourites - hee hee.

I kind of like Harry and Parvati now, although in my canon head she's having a lot more fun with Dean and Seamus - LOL. Might come back to this. Might decided Harry can't live totally without her. *ponders*

Thanks for the review ~Carole~