09/20/12
I've been pretty inactive on MNFF and the Beta Boards lately, but I promise to respond to all thoughtful reviews...eventually :)
One-shots
^Dark and Light: Ron/Hermione and a bit of Muggle history, because why not.
Flame Red: the story of a redheaded girl, as told to James, Al, Lily, Rose, and Hugo. I am told that it contains "fantastic family fluff," which is just too good an alliteration to pass up mentioning here.
^Goatilocks and the Three Puffs: a crack!fic about a goat. 'Nuff said.
*In the Hufflepuff Way: conversations between Hannah Abbott and her parents.
Pineapple in the Library: Neville + Luna + math = awesomeness. Winner of the Nautilus Award in the 2013 Great Hall V-Day Cotillion.
Tomorrow Comes: a Tonks songfic, to "Do You Hear the People Sing?"
With a Slammed Door and a Loud Crack: an expanded version of the drabble which won the Hysterical/Historical challenge in TTB...it is both historical and more than a little hysterical.
Short Chaptered
The Beginning of After: my first fanfic, consisting of several scenes from the three days after the Battle. Recorded on Audiofics for their Inaugural Live Broadcast!
Poetry
Firework: Dolores Umbridge makes 'em go oh-oh-oh...as they shoot across the sky-y-y...
Look At Me: Snape, at the moment of his death.
*Musings: a bit of Lunacy, or perhaps perfect sanity.
*Philosopher's Stone: a Perenelle villanelle which defies summarization. (Actually, a lot of my poems defy summarization.)
Shall I Compare Thee to a Winter's Eve: an unhappy Sev/Lily whose first line happens to resemble a famous sonnet, no idea how that happened.
*Shell Cottage: an unusually long free verse poem on, you guess it, Shell Cottage.
*^Still: a prose poem inspired by an image of a woman in an explosion.
*The Closed Ward: the vestiges of Alice Longbottom's mind.
Today I Do Not Want to Be a Ravenclaw: your typical gripe about schoolwork, only with meter and rhyme.
Uncertainty: Ron/Hermione (or whatever other pairing you want) fluff.
*Nominated in the 2013 QSQs.
^Nominated in the 2014 QSQs.
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Collected Works of Semony Lnicket by x2pttrclue32
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary:
Dear Reader,
If you are like collecter, you might enjoy to collect things. Some of you might collect sea shells, or books, or dictionaries. But of all things, I hope with all my heart that none of you collect dismal stories. The chapters that you are about to read contain parts of the story of Harry Potter.
In fact, the horrendous things in this collection are too numerous to name. I wouldn't think of mentioning such things as an evil wizard, birthday presents, ghosts, an owl, or a spider-filled closet.
I have put these renditions of this disaterous tale together for the sake of my research, but you might be better off walking away from this story, and collecting dictionaries instead.
With all due respect,
Semony Lnicket
P.S. This chapters in this collection may be read in any order you please. Although, it would probably please you more if you did not read them at all.
Date: 10/07/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One: The Boy Who Didn't Die
This is awesome! I love the Lemony Snicket narration--I loved his books when I was younger--and I think it would be really neat if you 'translated' more of the books into this style.
A Happy Hogwarts Hanukah by Darth Sirius
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Why should Hogwarts celebrate Christmas every year?
Date: 03/25/13 Title: Chapter 1: A Happy Hogwarts Hanukah
What awesome mishegas! :D Love Dumbledore's speech, Draco's dreidel...and someone should tell the people who were so shocked by Hermione's feat that it really isn't all that hard.
I found this story with such funny timing, too. It's the first Passover seder tonight and I just spent the last three hours making charoset.
Highway Code by shewhoguards
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Why Hermoine really *wasn't* sure that Ron could pass a Muggle driving test.
Date: 10/28/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Well written and funny! Nice ending... :D
My Harry Heart by SaboteurVictory
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: While Ginny sulks in her bedroom of The Burrow, her whole family in hiding and the love of her life on the run, she thinks. She thinks dark thoughts, and she think depressing thoughts. Mostly, she thinks of Harry.
Date: 10/11/12 Title: Chapter 1: In Hiding
Interesting...I like how you portray the way she feels during the war. The tone is unique; a bit depressed, but then of course it's a war!
Celestina's Songbook: Christmas Edition, Volume 2 by minnabird, Hypatia, minnabird, welshdevondragon, iLuna17, Padfoot11333, Acacia Carter
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary:
Celestina Warbeck takes the stage once again, this time with the world premiere of a Christmas album. This jolly, heartfelt volume will bring the joy of the holiday season to any and all of the listeners of the Wizarding Wireless Network!
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This anthology is a compilation of both the Great Hall's Great Hall-iday Bonus Challenge and Poetry Anyone's December Carol Challenge. Enjoy!
Date: 10/23/12 Title: Chapter 1: 7. Enchanted
I agree...I think Luna/Rolf makes sense; their shared weirdness is better than any romance between Neville and Luna.
Reveries & Butterflies by lucca4
Rated: 1st-2nd Years • Summary:
Sometimes, there is little else to hold onto except dreams and moments.
Because sometimes, when all else is lost, they are all we have left.
I owe infinite thanks to Alex/welshdevondragon, who took the time to beta and primp this story and is also just a wonderful person.
Winner of the 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best General Story, along with Julia/theopaleye's fabulous fic Maps
Date: 10/07/12 Title: Chapter 1: (a song of the lost)
I love the story, especially the way she speaks, and the use of parenthases...it brings it away from ordinary reality and makes everything seem deeper.
Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to leave a review! I am so happy you liked the story :). xx Ariana
Survivor's Hymn by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: After the last spell flashes and the day is won, hope can be found in the subtlest ticking of the clock, the softest note, the tiniest slant of light.
Thus ended the Battle of Hogwarts and began for those left to carry on.
This poem has been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Poetry.
Date: 12/05/12 Title: Chapter 1: Where the light may shine again
Wow...this gave me chills.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. It was inspired by the song "My Love Is Always There" from the Deathly Hallows I soundtrack. YouTube it; it's incredible and hauntingly beautiful. Thank you for your visit. :)
~Jess
A Crimson Streak by foreverandalways14
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: A free-versed poem dedicated to the Final Battle that took place within Hogwarts.
Date: 04/17/13 Title: Chapter 1: After the Battle
I like the style of this poem. It is a prosey sort of a free verse; clearly spoken (I mean, written) sentences as opposed to extremely flowery, formal language. I think it's quite effective, the way you mix poetry with starkness. You both have things said poetically--"sadness that held them all in chains of iron"-- or straight out--"I lost a brother today". The theme is played out well, and I especially like the innovation of using dialogue. Real quotes add that much more candidness to a poignant poem, and I often find that quotes can be just as poetic as carefully crafted metaphors. (The tragic example of this which randomly popped into my head is a woman on the news after the Sandy Hook shooting, a mother whose child lived and who was just so grateful that "I can tuck my child into bed tonight.")
You also have a sort of a structure to your free verse; the stanzas are divided up in a way that not only looks good but that separates each individual scene/idea so that they don't overlap too much and can each stand out on their own.
There are a few places where I think your wording could be improved. "But to continue is in our best interests" would be a bit less awkward-sounding if you reworded and eliminated the infinitive, or at least changed its location to later in the line. Also, in "wrecked upon an ancient castle," I think the word you want is "wreaked", not "wrecked." Another instance is when you describe the Trio as standing "stiffly"--I can see why you'd use that word if you want to convey a certain uncertainty about what to say in front of everybody, a certain not-knowing-how-to-deal-with-the-crowd, but I am not sure if that's what you intended, given the context. Did you mean something more like "firmly"? Also, I personally would use a different word in the line "Beyond the three considered strong"--i.e. held/thought/believed instead of "considered", but that's really minor.
You have lots of lines that I really love, too. "With tired eyes and stinging wounds/And broken hearts and empty words" is a brilliant use of meter repetition, it just sounds really good when I hear it in my head. The line after it is good too, although if you added "they" between "And" and "were", the meaning would be clearer at first glance. Oh, and your stanza about the trio is lovely as well;; they're captured as the imperfect, exhausted heroes they are. And, wow, "So that's exactly what we're going to do, all of us, together" is such an amazingly mature/strong, yet absolutely Ron-like, quote!
Overall, I really enjoyed your poem! I like free verse with organized-ish stanzas, as a poet myself...even though it's not always my strongest suit at writing...:)
Sirius Black by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary:
Date: 11/02/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Love the last line!
'i' before 'e' by Equinox Chick
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Ms A Cadwallader wishes to improve herself and apply for a better job. Unfortunately, despite her impeccable qualifications, she is thwarted by a certain Junior Under Secretary for the Minister of Magic, who has let it be known that basic spelling errors can never be over looked.
This story, written in the style of a series of letters, first appeared in The Battle of the Genres over at the SBBC forum.
I am not JK Rowling. She would probably have been more amusing.
This story is for Minna because it was her birthday and she likes this pairing.
Thank you Natalie for liking the drabble and encouraging me to expand.
Winner of the Best Humour QSQ in 2012 - GOBSMACKED!!!
Date: 10/07/12 Title: Chapter 1: Letters
Hahahahaha. The spelling idea was creative and totally fits Percy!
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :) ~Carole~
Don't You Remember by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Neville Longbottom. Fourteen years old. Trying to remember what it was like. This poem was written for the Random Song Title Challenge at Poetry Anyone (?) The title is taken from Adele's Don't You Remember, but the poem has nothing else to do with the song.
Date: 11/02/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
*tear* It's so sad...
I like your choice of language--the words of the poem flow together very nicely.
Author's Response: Thank you! :)
No Line On The Horizon by welshdevondragon
Rated: 1st-2nd Years • Summary: Ginny looks out of her dormitory window, and thinks of the line on the horizon, and the boy beyond.
Originally written for The Random Song Title Challenge at Poetry Anyone on the forums, where to my utter surprise, it came third place.
Date: 01/27/13 Title: Chapter 1: No Line On The Horizon
Oh, this is beautiful! I love your words and your metaphors; the poem seems so lonely and longing...but the last stanza sort of pulls above those feelings, shows Ginny being strong and facing life anew.
Your alternation between long lines and short lines put very definitive breaks/pauses in the poem, which makes it read really well...and so do the indentations (and I even think I can tell where you would have wanted a mid-way indent, but couldn't have one). How did you do them? I have a poem with some indentations (not nearly as good as yours though!) which I want to post soon, but I don't know how...
Amazing poem! :)
Jenny
Seven Simple Years by HalfASlug
Rated: 6th-7th Years • Summary: The story of Ron and Hermione through a series of missing moments. Who said love was simple?
Date: 10/11/12 Title: Chapter 7: The Truth, Brains and Other Things that Hit Ron
This is really well written...I can totally see all of this really happening. It makes me so impatient with both of them--like, get together already!!!
Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing :) Haha, yes! There's still two books left! You just want to lock them in a room together or something...
Babies Mine by The owl
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Luna is wandering around her childhood home, talking to her stomach.
Date: 10/28/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
You write first person Luna really well. And I like the birth date!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review :) Luna is definitely good fun to write, so it's lovely to hear that other people like her too. And yeah, I though that the birth date was apt for Luna's sons. I mean, who else? Thanks again!
~Sophie
The Lament of the Darkest Servant by Envy_I_May_Be
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Bellatrix gladly does the bidding of her master with a wicked smile and an eager hand...
Done for the October race to Halloween Triathalon over at Poetry Anyone(?)
Date: 10/13/12 Title: Chapter 1: The Lament of the Darkest Servant
Creepy, evil...very Bellatrix. The repetition makes it seem like a kind of a mantra.
Figgy Christmas by ProfPosky
Rated: 1st-2nd Years • Summary: Arabella Figg expected to spend Christmas alone, as she did almost every year - as she did almost everything else. A knock on the door changes that...
Date: 01/02/13 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Oh my gosh, it's Mrs. Figg! Cat obsessed old lady and all. Ha! And the last line is interesting...you've done a great job at characterizing her.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and telling me the last line is interesting. I love Mrs. Figg.. and I am even becoming fond of book!Mundungus!
Beautiful Disaster by Nagini Riddle
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: For all those girls out there who love Tom Riddle, this is a poem dedicated especially to him. :)
Riddle is handsome and charming, but he also has a dark side. Is it possible to save him? Or is he just a beautiful disaster?
Date: 03/26/13 Title: Chapter 1: Beautiful Disaster
Lol, I can indeed tell.
Quite an apt title, and an interesting theme. I do think that Riddle could have been saved, if he had been taught love...not long ago, I read a Riddle/Hermione in which Riddle becomes Voldemort anyway, but only because Hermione dies before she can teach him to not just love her, but to love the world.
The language of this poem is quite nice, and your rhymes fit well. The meter and the number of syllables in the lines are not entirely even, but that maybe just be because you have a tune in your head which I don't--I don't know that song. But I don't think it hurts the poem at all; it just gives it a free verse feel despite the rhyme scheme. And anyway, the way you wrote the lines, most lines sort of have their own internal rhythm--like in "does not suit him but draws me in" or "captivates hte untrained eye". In a couple of places, though, the internal rhythm seems like it could be stronger. For example, "only makes me endure through thick and thin" rings better in my ears than "only causes me," and if "endure" could be replaced with somethiing with the accent on the first syllable (i.e. "suffer", except that doesn't quite convey your meaning), I think it would sound nicer yet. Also, maybe "Thoroughly changes over the unkind years" could go instead of "Changes dramatically over the unkind years." I don't know, just an idea.
Some of my favorite lines are "Stare straight through the quaking soul" (which just sounds so cool) and "Roots me to the ground, lets my love be pawned." Especially using "pawned" as your rhyme for "wand"--that was brilliant, really impressed me!
I like the little short stanzas, too. They're almost like a chorus, but different each time, and they tie it all together. I especially like the last stanza, and how it shows genuine empathy and compassion for Riddle. One small word choice thing--"troubling" makes me think of being rather worried, but not outright frightening or agonizing, which is what I think Voldemort's "destruction" is more likely to be. Maybe "ruinous" or "torturous"?
It was an interesting read, especially since I'm not a huge Riddle fan--but this poem was very convincing. :) Hope I was helpful!
Author's Response: Wow, Jenny! Thank you for the lengthy review! I am rather happy that you enjoyed this poem. It is one I the very few that I have on Tom Riddle and I always liked this one because I was able to express my real feelings for him. :) I will take into consideration that last word choice. I am very happy to have found a great reviewer and critiquer! :) Keep reading, <3 Nagini
In Dreams by minnabird
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Rowena discovers the grounds of what will be Hogwarts and is surprised to recognize it.
Nominated for Best Poem in the 2013 Quicksilver Quill Awards
Date: 03/03/13 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Oh my gosh, this is a beautful sonnet. I know sonnets are hard, because of the meter and whatnot...but this one pulls it off perfectly; every single line flows smoothly. And your language feels just right for the time, and the idea behind the poem is so lovely! :D
Sorry about the complete lack of constructive crit. You're just too good at poetry...
A Failing Mission by Nagini Riddle
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Dumbledore and Harry hunt down the locket, but their efforts seem to have been in vain.
Date: 03/05/13 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Oh my gosh, you captured the feelings so well! I like how you twist from fear, creepiness, etc. to pain and loss...the whole poem makes me want to shudder. In a good way :) The line "Horror as green lifts the man" was one of my favorites. So were the first and last lines.
The only thing I might add is something tearjerky about Dumbledore, maybe adding something with "a last heroic act" or the like, about trying to save Draco even with his dying breath...("Severus, please,") ...although I guess it might not go with your poem since it's not about the locket.
Author's Response: Jenny, thank you!!!!! I am so glad to see that you like this poem. It was written during the summer last year, actually, in a means of trying to shorten my poetry. :) And I challenged myself to use haikus.
Keep reading and writing!
Lost by dmbw7052
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Does Mrs. Granger remember Hermione in any way? Is there a subconscious memory in the back of her mind?
Date: 03/05/13 Title: Chapter 1: Lost
Hi Georgia! This is nice for a first poem. It flows well, and the ending--"I will keep watching, I will keep waiting. It will come back, I know it will" is a little bittersweet. The poem is very...what's the word...stark, which makes it seem more urgent. Just one crit--I do think it could use a little more description; a few more adverbs/adjectives would add to the feeling.
Looking forward to more poetry of yours!
Oh yeah, by the way, sorry for giving you a heart attack with that poetry duel thing...You did a good job there too :) Actually I guess I'm not sorry...